I’m too embarrassed to tell him how many men I’ve slept with - Evewoman
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I’m too embarrassed to tell him how many men I’ve slept with

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My new boyfriend has slept with five women and they’re all proper relationships but my list of conquests is in double figures and includes a few flings

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Dear Coleen

I’m a 28-year-old woman and I haven’t really had any serious relationships. I’ve had a few flings that have lasted a few months, but I have slept with quite a few men in my time.

I don’t feel bad about that – well, I didn’t until I met my current boyfriend (who is 25) and we got talking about our relationship and sexual history.

He told me he’d slept with five women – all proper relationships. My list of exes is a lot longer, however.

Let’s just say it runs into double figures. I was too embarrassed to tell him my real number so I lied and said it was eight.

I feel bad having lied, but I think he could be “the one” and I don’t want him to think I’ve slept around or I’m unable to hold down a relationship. Help!

Coleen says

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Like you say, you’ve never met anyone you’ve wanted to have a serious relationship with, so that’s why you’ve slept with more people than he has. I’m sure he’d get that.

And why feel bad about your sexual history? I also don’t think you’re giving him enough credit – why would he judge you?

He’s not with you because of how many people you have or haven’t slept with – have more confidence in yourself. And, if he did judge you, then I don’t think he’s “the one” after all.

If you feel bad about lying to him, then fess up and make a joke of it.

But I think you’re the one making it into an issue – I don’t think it’ll be a problem for him.

 

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