Just the other month, a close friend decided to install an application in her husband's phone that would give her access to every detail in that phone. The calls, messages and even photos! She confessed to me that she suspected that he was cheating and so wanted to confirm her suspicions. When she first told me what she had done, I just stared at her for minutes as though she was something a cat had just brought into the house. Why ooh why do we always want to change the scripts of our lives? Even if God had planned to take you home quietly in your sleep, you force Him to change the script and make it a serious heart attack.
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Someone once told us that what we do not know will not hurt us. Whoever it was must have been a great 'snooper' before he came up with the line. The best way to die a slow and painful death in this era is to snoop on your partner's mobile phone. Like I always say, not having a medical cover has taught me to always mind my own business. Imagine if I snooped on his phone and met things that would make me trip and fall! Having in mind the ground at Komayole is four times likely to break your leg than the ground at Kitusuru. That would only mean one thing, staying at home and missing work as I massage my broken leg with warm water. Also keep in mind that where I work, the more you miss work the more your salary is deducted. Amadioha forbid now!
So I was telling you about my friend whose nose she detached from her face and used it to make a cocktail with her man's business. Two days after she started snooping, she called me late in the night and I could swear she was running out of breath. Only that I am not a life support machine connected to her because I would have gone like ti....ti....tiii......tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Her husband had just sent someone a message, which read 'Hallo darling'. Because she woke me up from my sweet sleep, I decided to play dumb in order for her to give up on me and hung up. I told her to calm down because Darling is a type of hair piece. In Komayole you don't just wake up in the wee hours of the night and start solving issues on phone. Our walls are not acoustic and an armed robber robbing the next house is four times likely to hear you than an armed robber in the same room with you in Kilimani.
She started breathing fire and accusing me of siding with the husband since I was insinuating that he had sent the message to a hair piece! What exactly was I supposed to do? Wake up and go and slap the hell out of darling? I know the Bible says there is a land that flows with milk and honey. Mummy, that land is not Kenya! Here, if you visit a river, be prepared to wade through polluted water and come out bruised.
So what exactly did she expect to find after snooping? Did she seriously expect her husband to send women the Ten Commandments and recite the Rosary with them every morning and evening? I was not in the mood for accusations, so I hung up on her and promised to call the next day.
By the time I was calling her at 10am, she had already uninstalled the application from her man's phone. Next time you go snooping, make sure you are a cat. At least you have seven chances to make the right choice!