Sometimes you've got to cut them loose

Sometimes you've got to cut them loose

It is a fact that in Kenya, and indeed the whole of Africa, unemployment rates are rocketing and formal employment hard to come by. Just ask around — a report not too long ago indicated that the average employed person supports about five other folks.

The footballer, Emmanuel Adebayor, recently came out on attack mode against the #TeamMafisi of his own family, including his own mother (God forbid-o!) whom he accused of not letting him see his own brother when he was ill and dying, instead asking him for cash to take care of the now deceased lad. He says he bought a Sh100 million house in Ghana to let the sister live there, but instead, she rented it out and squandered the cash.

Another relative he brought to France stole more than 20 hi-tech mobile phones from Adebayo’s team-mates ... now, that’s high-tech embarrassment. Since many women, thanks to their kind and giving hearts and responsibilities, are stuck in this kind of rut, here’s some ruthless advice on how to deal with family pests (family pets, on the other hand, should just be well fed).

Instead of sending money to everyone haphazardly in the extended family for second term school fees, emergencies, choose one poor member of the clan to sponsor in terms of education - then close that chapter.

If it is pleas for money about people who are ever sick, go out there and encourage them to get any of the numerous now very cheap health insurance schemes available. You can even pay the early premium to set the ball rolling. Nothing more distressing than the constant, ‘send money, your uncle has goiter’ or ‘your cousin Gordon got gonorrhea’ and they need money for the hospital.

We all know wealthy footballers whose bros roll around this town in their fancy cars. Fine. But if you are a diaspora Kenyan, don’t just send money to your relative in full trust that that annual million you are sending is going towards building that grand house in ‘ushago. Utarudi, utashangaa, utapata’ he opened a big boda boda business in your rural town — but your land is still as bare as a baby’s bottom.

These are the same relatives who steal funeral harambee money from even widows when their hubbies are deceased. It is okay to pay rent for your aged folks, but letting one’s in-laws come and stay in numbers at your city domicile is most unfair to your partner. Many of these relas are ungrateful piglets, anyway, who will report like KGB back to the boondocks on what a sod/sot you are, your Nadome-like ma-domes (house fights) and sully your name with no compunction.

And, as Adebayor said, there is that crazy lot who will even consult mediums and witch doctors, seeking your downfall; and all because you are doing okay in the city while their son is that village lout who snoozes in ditches and scored a strong ‘D-.’

Talk of biting the hand that feeds you.

Unless you are a politician looking for votes, you do not owe anyone anything in this world, other than out of the goodness of your heart. No one is entitled to the sweat of someone else’s brow, by right of being a relative — children excluded.

Here’s a song to sing, when you want to remember Kajwang’ and his other true wife who hosted relatives who have now turned against her and her two beautiful kids: ‘Vijana musilale, lale lale, vijana musilale, bado Adebayor ...’

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