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Dear Coleen
I have been with my girlfriend nearly three years and things used to be wonderful. We own our own house and take lots of holidays. Then her friends got in between us and we started arguing.
Lately, I’ve found messages from her to other girls and notes to her from work colleagues, but when I’ve asked her about them she makes excuses like, ‘I just wrote it to cheer her up as she’s having a hard time’.
But the notes I’ve found are more or less discussing going on a date.
She’s lying about her whereabouts and at weekends she ignores me because she’s with her mates. Then says how much she loves me. I’m so confused right now. Any advice?
Coleen says
If you’re finding messages and texts suggesting more than friendship and you’re also being ignored, then you have every right to challenge her. And I think you need to say that while it’s going on, your relationship has to go on ice.
Ask her to put herself in your position – how would she feel if she saw similar messages on your computer? If she says she’d be OK with it, she’s lying.
Of course she can have friends, but if it’s more than friendship then you deserve to know. To be honest, it sounds as if she’s not sure what she wants, but what she needs to know is that she can’t have it all.
If she needs time to find out what she does want then give her some time and maybe you’ll get a different perspective on things too.
join