Time to leave, the sucker won't change

Women are poor judges of male character. Every day, I see a woman pick a man purely by his thug appeal or the flashy things the man seemingly possesses. Not fewer than ten times have I so accurately predicted a heartbreak. And they always call me back to tell me what a jerk the friend they chose is.

For instance, when I'm with my circle of friends and we bump into a bunch of women, it is mostly the worst person in the pack they all pick. I'm not being jealous. It is mostly the serial cheat, woman beater, most annoying prick they settle for, citing that 'he is sooo cute', 'he is soo funny'. Or when the man looks the generous type, they swing his way faster than he can say 'Anne, wait'!

It could be that the thug appeal, the animal magnetism that attracts them is the very thing that will ruin their lives and haunt them for good. For I know men can be so callous in dismissing a woman they no longer have the hots for. And if it is the woman who imposed herself on the man, men can be ruthless in abandoning the woman, without notice.

Recently, a female friend in an abusive relationship told me that her boyfriend had beaten her up. She asked me what she should do. Without hesitating, I insisted that she leaves. "And don't ever look back," I said. She packed and left. And she told me later that she has found her inner peace and she will be fine. She was.

Except that three weeks later, I saw her photos with the same man on Facebook, looking very happy. Like they were dating for the very first time. I was confounded. It is a fact of life that if a man beats a man once, he will do it again. And I'm not tolerant towards men who beat women. Neither am I too patient with women who stick with them, no matter how exceptional the circumstances are.

Every other day, I see women being used, misused and abused by men, yet they put with the jerks. The reasons being; 'he will change' (he won't), 'we have been through so much, I can't just leave' (you ain't seen nothing yet, lady), 'the sex is good' (he is not the only man who can pack a good game in the sack), 'I depend on him' (depend on God).

Part of the reason is that women always want the easy way out of life. The reason many elect to become prostitutes before attempting other options. Haven't you seen many young women struggle do small business, farming against impossible odds? If a woman sticks with a man solely because he provides, while she gets abused every day, I'm sorry I have no sympathy for her absolutely. This is because I have seen women who left stupid men and carved a good life for themselves and their children. Her world did not end.

Moving forward, women need to learn to use their emotions less and their brains more in selecting a man. All life's flashy things are short-lived. For me, any relationship that does not have mutual respect, according dignity to the either party equally, is not worth any pursuit.

Drop the sucker. Even if he is as hot as Denzel Washington in your eyes. Drop him. A sucker is sucker. And he will not change for you.

@nyanchwani

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