|Perfect partners can be made Photo: Courtesy|
How many people do you know that compare their marriage to others? I could count them with all my fingers ten times over. I have found that many individuals image of the perfect relationship and marriage based on how they see others perfect marriage. This is usually the case because it is easier to measure perfection through admiration of those that mirror it.
They live wondering whether it’s a common misconception that there is such thing as a “perfect marriage partner.” Am reminded of a popular quote; “the grass next door may look greener but it is just as hard to cut”. A good marriage partner is a blessing, but they typically take at least some degree of work to be great. Many look for perfect combinations that are simply hard to come by. Having listened to many different couples’ stories of meeting each other, I have concluded that there are many potential partners for any one individual, and there certainly no perfect marriage partner.
Your partner will always be the ‘one’
While some people are in a fantasy world, others believe that God created one and only one person specifically for them to marry, so when the person that they believe was the “one” moves on, they are devastated and remain angry for a long time instead of remaining open minded trusting that their best partner is yet to come.
Is there really such a thing as just one special individual for someone? Does God identify particular life partners for everyone? In my opinion God loves us and has perfect plans, provides us opportunities and the freedom to make our own choices. Whatever choices we make is entirely up to us. People and relationships rarely remain static, they continue to evolve as they grow and so do their needs.
A successful relationship completes each other
When the reality of marriage doesn’t meet a partner’s expectations, they become extremely frustrated and begin to think that they made a mistake in marrying their partner. Nobody can complete you, one has to be complete before they meet someone else who can complement them. Relationships are about complementing one another for common good. Generally the need for a partner to complete you is based on selfish desires, to have them meet your needs and lord over you.
It’s wrong to have doubts about the commitment
Usually a lot of people have secret doubts about their partners. It is not that they do not have faith in their partners or do not love them enough, it is the fear of unknown, fear of intimacy and attachment in the early stages of the relationship. Did I really make the right decision? Will the relationship work? These doubts are not unusual, what is important is not to stagnate at the fear level but to move on and enjoy the relationship.
Once you made a decision stay committed and yes learn the secret of contentment and you will thrive in your relationships. Live, love and thrive because you deserve it!!!
The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, |Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke
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