How I overcame depression

She has a thriving acting career, a body and face that can grace a catwalk, and an enviable personality. Nini is one of the stars in Kona, a telenovella airing on M-Net where she plays the role of Julia Oyange. 

“Kona has put my name and face beyond the Kenyan borders. I was recently in Nigeria to shoot the Afriwood/Mnet movies. I had the pleasure of working with amazing directors such as Alex Mouth, and played the role of Yule Edochie’s wife and Femi Branch’s lust interest. My highlight was when I presented the Best Supporting Actress Award at the prestigious Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards,” she says.

Though she looks like she has arrived in her career, Nini overcame a battle of depression to be where she is.

 “I need mood elevation as I get clinical depression episodes. There are days I wake up and feel dark, joyless and empty. During such dark moments, I feel so low. What helps me during such moments is a workout. The exercises make the episodes less intense, fewer and far between,” Nini says.

The seasoned actress says though the depression is triggered by stress and trauma, it is also partly genetic. 

Lowest episode

“My lowest episode was when I was trying to figure out my life at 30, during a time when I had just ended a relationship and I had a miscarriage. Since I cannot work when I am on anti-depressants, I have found tools to help me cope, which include daily exercise, structured employment or projects and connecting with nature. That is why I frequent Karura Forest for nature walks,” Nini says.  

“I have become calmer as I grow older. I also have a better understanding that mental disorders are unpredictable and the stigma affects all aspects of life such as relationships and employment.”

A second born of three sisters — Raha, Tatu and Tabu — Nini started her acting career almost accidentally.   

Adorned in an overall and armed with a toolbox, Nini would assist in maintenance and installation of air conditioners during her school holidays. Her dad, Mr Gatere, wanted her to follow in his footsteps and take up an engineering career.  

Her dad also encouraged her to participate in extra curriculum activities, which she did by taking part in acting. She developed such a strong interest and love for acting that she considered pursuing it as a career. 

However, acting was not perceived as a career in Kenya at that time, but she was determined to make it. 

 “It was a big fight, but it was a fight about a young woman finding herself and her identity,” says Nini. She got hooked to the screen when she did a McCleans advert at the age of six years.

“I loved the experience and the attention. My personality has always been the attention seeking kind and that advert satisfied that need,” she says.

Joining Kahuhia Girls High School drama club became her outlet to cope with boarding school.

“Boarding school was hard and insane for Nairobians, but I had to be taken there because I was too wild and curious.” 

Guided by their drama teacher, Nini got completely immersed in drama. She says: “We wrote drama scripts, painted backdrops, sourced for props and created dance routines for the annual plays.”

Nini learned survival tactics from a young age.

While studying for a degree in International Business Administration at USIU, her side hustles included commercials, voice overs and fashion shows with Kikoromeo. 

Nini has scaled the heights in theatre and has featured in local productions like Changes, White Maasai, Dangerous Affair and Project Daddy. 

In addition to acting, Nini also wears the hat of a casting director and worked with Ginger Ink on the film Something Necessary.

 “I am an actor and that is my first love and the hat I adore. During my down time, I wear the casting director hat, which is my second love. Directing and exploring a character with an actor always opens up to unexpected surprises,” she says.  

For Nini, the sky is the limit.

MY LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT

Nini got pregnant when she was 23 years while on internship in Dar es Salaam.   “There was an emotional upheaval at home and I was fighting so much with my dad. I ran off to Dar es Salaam to do my internship where my boyfriend was,” says Nini. 

“I got pregnant but our relationship was strained, as I was a financial burden. I decided to leave when he became violent. Painful as it was, I decided to come back to Kenya.”

“Here I was, broke with no man, no job, no prospects and stigmatised for going against the norms of society. I swallowed my pride and went back home,” Nini recalls.

She has hustled alone to raise the child who is now 13 years. “When I got back home from delivering the baby, I found my boyfriend waiting for me. I gave him the baby’s shopping list, but I never got my shopping list or shopping back! He came back when the baby was seven years and when I gave him the school fees structure he did nothing.”

Nini confesses that single parenting is a lonely experience.

“I have no one to share my child’s joys and challenges with. I taught her to cook for herself and not wait for the house girl to do everything for her,” says Nini.

Before taking an acting role, Nini says she has to evaluate how it will impact her daughter.

“Whatever role I take up, I must factor in the effects to my daughter’s life. I haven’t bumped into a role I was forced to turn down. I will accept any role until I can’t.”

Is she dating?

 “For now it’s complicated. But I must say I don’t believe in the institution of marriage. It’s hard to be individualistic when you are married. The vows are so binding and who keeps those vows anyway? It doesn’t make sense to me.  It ties people down,” she says.

Photo: www.vibeweekly.com