To hug or not to in the workplace?

Kenya: The office environment is changing fast. While a hug was kind of a forbidden greeting gesture, it is increasingly gaining acceptability.

While many would embrace it, a colleague disapproves it and in case you insist for one, he will communicate his displeasure after you have hugged him. According to Gloria Akinyi Mwangi, human resource administration manager at Rapid Communications Ltd, hugging is part of their company culture, which is an indication of how close they are.

Difficult times

Ms Akinyi argues that besides improving the productivity of employes, hugging at the workplace shows that there is a shoulder to lean on during difficult times. “By being close, we make work easier and we are able to achieve our goals,” she says, adding that if an employe achieves an extraordinary target, a hug goes a long way.

She however insists that a hug should remain a hug and one should not cross the boundaries lest it appears like some sexual advances made towards the other colleague. “The young generation hug one another a lot more than the older generation,” Gloria noted. At the bottom of it however, she says it depends on an individual.

Carol Miaskoff, the assistant legal counsel for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission agrees. While talking to Madame Noire magazine, she said: “The best policy to avoid awkward hugs is to let your co-workers know upfront how you feel about hugs.” To many, a hug is considered foreign, but admits that he has hugged a colleague, once.

It followed a suggestion by the other colleague.  Hugging at the work place is a common practice – whether one is married or single, widowed or divorced.

Peter Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute says the good rule of thumb is that huggers should consider not hugging a woman if they also wouldn’t hug a man. Shaking hands will be perfectly acceptable. For some, a hug is a level of intimacy reserved for those who are personally close and not a thing for colleagues or business partners. But in some cases, there are those who do it without the consent of the other person and that, to a large extent amounts to sexual assault.

Creepy feeling

Some etiquette experts argue that hugging can go overboard and become a form of dominance on the other partner. The question has also been asked in some quarters whether married couples should allow physical affection, in the form of a hug.

They also grapple with how to get out of the creepy feeling without hurting the other person or being graceless, which seems to be a blurred line many are still looking answers for. There is a change in culture at many a workplace, which in most cases is not part of the code of conduct stipulated by the company policy. In many offices today, many young employees or the so-called dot-com generation have no problem hugging or giving a peck on the cheek.

 “Any kind of intimate touching is a mistake,” Post says. “I would avoid even reaching out to touch somebody’s shoulder while walking by them. We recommend that people refrain from stepping in and giving a hug to a co-worker or a client.”

He noted that there are circumstances in which hugging could be appropriate – during such moments as when news of pregnancy or tragedy have broken. Today, physical affection flourishes in certain sections such as marketing and fashion, for instance, even as companies increasingly codify the rules of workplace touching.

 Office etiquette experts agree that in general, an arms-off policy is recommended. That said, most people have given or received an unwanted hug in the office, and it usually results in some awkward moments.