Tomorrow is my wedding day. My Suzie, the joy of my soft heart will be jetting in from Mombasa today in the evening. And, I will surely amaze her at the airport. I am known for being the king of surprises. This being my birthday month, I have to do all to make it memorable.

It is Christmas time and I cannot hide my joy. I totally feel like I am one of the three men from the East. Only that I am yet to see my star and when I do find it I will sail home.... Only hit the road when you are missing home, and I truly and honestly do.

A day like this back in the days in the village I would have been voted the best behaved boy. Not that I cared much about good behavior but during December festivity good manners came with goodies.

A day like this, 16 years ago, my mama, my two brothers and I, Mteule, were going to church about 13 kilometers away.

When the new teacher came, Mr. Kafaiko, he saw me a naughty boy. On his first Science lesson, he kept asking me so many questions that I nearly disliked the subject.

As you know, today, I am commemorating a one month anniversary since I left my Ksh 450 balance with the rogue conductor.

My landlord is accusing me of eating chicken before paying rent. That it is his right to receive top priority in my budgets. Well, he may be true but where is it written?

In line with the Katiba I am vying for the position of Chairman of Nyumba Kumi Initiative at my place of residence. And my Suzie will be the first lady. Any top seat has one. The wife of a bishop is an evangelist; the wife of a doctor is a nurse and so on.

am in a hectic traffic along Waiyaki Way. That is fine. But the conductor has left us, running ahead, leaving us thinking that he is going to ease the traffic, somehow some way, miraculously!

On Monday, as I left for work, I left my landlord holding a padlock at the door of my bedsitter. The thing is I have not paid the rent for September; I have been waiting for the low interest capped loan from my bank.

Baba Susan is the most understanding man I have ever met. Once I informed him that we, the dowry negotiation team, won't make to visit him to "know their home", he simply sent me a pay bill number. As he put it; the world is a small village. He added that we can even meet via cloud computing. At first, I did not get his point but now I know. He wants me to pay the bride price in installments. As he ended the call, I overheard him saying;

When Susanna asks for Ksh 2000 for salon, I feel financially abused, economically used and even politically misused, most of the times. When I am loaded, I am a cheerful giver.

When the lady interviewer asked me who was the first man to land on the moon, I realized it was an all different ball game.

My hot girlfriend demands that we shift from my hot spacious bedsitter in Kinoo-Regen. My first problem is why she says “we” and yet she does not assist in rental payment. This “we” has a legal implication.