The father of my kids raped me, stripped and humiliated me in public but I still love him

I forgive you now, and if you repeat this mistake in future, I will still forgive you!” These words are so automatic for the many times I have spoken them to my now ex-husband. This is a man who has on countless episodes beaten and stripped me naked in public, has set his mistresses against me and would have once thrown me down from the third floor of our apartment if neighbours and onlookers hadn’t intervened. I am separated from him for over five years now but if he comes back today and asks for forgiveness, I would repeat the words without an iota of remorse.