Oh my God, Kenyan men just can’t take a hint!

This past weekend, I decided to relieve myself from the tedium of a Sunday afternoon by heading to a café at the mall. I armed myself with headphones and my laptop to ward off creepers, but it turned out to be an exercise in futility, thanks to one guy who had drawn the conclusion that his desire to introduce himself overrode my right to be left alone. The fact that I had headphones on and was clearly engrossed in my laptop did not deter him from plopping himself into the seat next to me (despite there being plenty of other empty seats) and trying to chat me up.

I continued to stare resolutely at my computer screen as he shifted around pointlessly tried to get my attention. When it became clear to him that I wasn’t going to look his way, he decided to force my attention by tapping me on the shoulder. First of all, you don’t touch me. Ever! You have no right to edge yourself into my personal space unless I’ve given you very explicit signs that I am interested in getting to know you. I was put off by his behaviour, but I reluctantly removed my headphones. He told me his name and expressed his desire to get to know me, then started peppering me with inane questions like, do I live around, do I go there often, where do I work...blah, blah, blah. When he finally paused to take a breath, I patiently explained to him that I was working on something urgent and wished to be left alone.

He then suggested that I give him my phone number, saying he would call me later and we could get together and talk because he really, really wanted to get to know me. I politely declined. He then suggested that I take his instead and text him when I was done with work. At this point, I was really ticked off and told him that I have no interest or desire whatsoever to get to know him. He did not relent. He started feeding me the usual tired lines of, “Si vibaya kujuana”. I finally got him to leave me alone when I threatened to cause a scene.

Gentlemen, let’s get one thing clear; wearing headphones is a universal ‘do not disturb’ sign. Women wear headphones without actually listening to music, specifically so men could leave them the hell alone. Trying to force her attention is rude. A woman who’s interested in being approached will be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her. We don’t owe you a hello, a smile or our attention, period! Stop annoying women who don’t want to talk to you. When we wear headphones and ignore you, we are not playing hard to get. We are simply not interested.