Wary of men, woman marries the Church

Irene Alembi during her wedding ceremony at Maseno Esitsaba Pentecostal Assemblies of God . (Photo: Courtesy)

Residents of a village in Maseno, Kisumu County, thronged a local homestead to witness a rare spectacle — a woman marrying the Church.

The bride, Irene Matete, declared her love for the Church in the presence of 200 witnesses and 20 flower girls.

Dressed in a white wedding gown, veil and gloves, Ms Matete slowly made her way to the front of the congregation and recited the wedding vows, committing the rest of her life to the Church “till death do them part”.

“Will you be faithful to the Church and serve the Lord with all your heart?” questioned Rev John Ngayi.

“Yes, I will,” the 54-year-old widow responded with a broad smile to loud cheers from the congregation.

Matete says she chose to marry the Church rather than a man because she went through many hardships in her union with her husband, Silas Alembi, who is now deceased. Mr Alembi died in 2012 after they had lived together for 39 years.

Matete was married to Alembi in a traditional ceremony in 1979. They had five children.

“Out of respect for my children and because they saw what I went through, I decided not to get married to another man and chose the Church instead,” explained Matete.

She did not want to divulge what kind of difficulties she experienced in her marriage.

Endless squabbles

However, Samuel Olukune, one of her husband’s relatives, said the couple had endless squabbles due to her husband’s love for liquor.

“He used to beat his wife whenever he returned home drunk. There were occasions when he threw her out of the house with the children and even uprooted vegetables she had planted,” said Mr Olukune, who is also a Luhya community elder.

Matete said her children had supported her decision not to re-marry as they all witnessed her suffering at the hands of their father, who was a painter.

But there were other reasons that compelled Matete to wed the church - one was to meet its norms.

She said performing the church ceremony was important as it would open the door for her children, especially her eldest son, to marry in church. He is planning to have a wedding in December.

Matete also desires to be a church leader and to achieve this, a wedding is a prerequisite.

According to Pentecostal Assemblies of God norms, one must be married to be elected a leader in the church.

In the absence of her husband, she chose a friend,

Judith Ocholla, who had a similar wedding last year, to act as her groom at the ceremony. This was important for the sake of Luhya traditions.

Rev Ngayi also told The standard that it was biblically significant for Matete to marry.

“If she had a man in her life and still went ahead to marry the Church, she would have died as it is forbidden for a widow who is still having sexual intercourse to be married to the Church. This ceremony is only acceptable if one decides to forget about ever marrying and stay faithful to the Church,” he said.

Cultural angle

There was a cultural angle as well.

“According to our traditions, a child cannot have a marriage ceremony if the parents did not have one. So it was necessary for her to marry before her son’s ceremony in December,” said Olokune.

On the role of the female groom, the elder explained: “Judith (Ocholla) stepped in because she had a similar experience last year. According to our culture, for anyone to play the part of a groom in such a special ceremony, she must have had a similar previous experience.”

Ms Ocholla, accompanied by other church members, picked the bride from her parents’ home in Musunguti village in Vihiga County before proceeding for the wedding service that was held at Matete’s home.

However, the two are not meant to live together as husband and wife as is the case in normal marriages.