Why Mugo wa Wairimu will be in good company in Parliament

On Tuesday last week, I received an invitation to like “Hon Mugo wa Wairimu” Facebook fan page from Mugo wa Wairimu himself. Typically, I do not ‘like’ any Facebook page hurled my way especially if the ‘owner’ of the page is the one inviting me. You require some level of cynicism to survive in this town.

I particularly detest suggestions from rookie politicians who crave after attention. My reasoning is simple: If they were the real McCoy they wouldn’t be enticing me with suggestions to “like” them. I would have liked them of my own volition the way I liked Carol Radull’s page or Bob Marley’s official page. Wajipe miaka kaa nane hivi...

So Mugo wa Wairimu invites me to like his page because his ambitions have grown and so are his fans. He wants to become the next Member of Parliament for Roysambu Constituency in Nairobi. Lest we forget, Mugo wa Wairimu is the controversial doctor believed to be in viral and shocking TV clips in which a male figure is seen molesting a sedated patient.

He was cornered at a Limuru hotel by hawk-eyed locals who had recognised his face from TV reports. The story then started to change, assuming the usual Kenyan narrative. He was being “fixed” the Kenyan style. From a high octane drama, the story fell flat and the hero in the man resurged.

He now wants to join the August house. I submit that he will be in good company should the people of Roysambu elect him. Our parliament is replete with ‘fixed’ people. They are toppling over themselves in the hallowed chambers relishing in the fruits of ‘fixation.’

Hon Richard Onyonka (Kitutu Chache) was “fixed” in a matter involving non-remittance of tax on sugar bought for internally displaced people in his constituency. Lamu West’s Julius Ndegwa was “fixed” in his case involving misallocation of funds meant for cattle dip in Witu.

Controversial lawmakers

Wairimu should take consolation in the tribulations of Imenti Central MP Gideon Mwiti who was “fixed” with claims which attracted as much publicity as his. The MP is out on Sh100,000 cash bail after denying raping, intimidating and assaulting a woman. Nakuru East’s David Gikaria was “fixed” with a strange case of “denying Nakuru County its revenue.”

Controversial lawmaker Ferdinand Waititu was “fixed” with hate-speech charges by his political enemies as were the weighbridge duo of Alfred Keter (Nandi Hills) and Birdi Sonia (nominated). Again, he would draw great comfort in the manner in which the public ire against the ‘weighbridge duo’ subsided.

Mishi Mboko, the Mombasa County woman representative was “fixed” with incitement charges by the National Cohesion and Integration Commission. Rangwe’s George Oner has been “fixed” with forgery claims involving a parcel of land in Embakasi. His Homa Bay counterpart Peter Kaluma too, “fixed” with fake land sale and land lease claims.

My friend Moses Kuria has been “fixed” with all manner of cases relating to hate-speech in the last two years he has been an MP. The more the ‘fixation’ grows the more his political fortunes have grown. Nyali’s Awiti Bolo is out on Sh100,000 personal bond in a case where he is accused of failing to remit statutory deductions of his employees. He was fixed. Another attempt to fix him with lead poisoning claims boomeranged in the face of his accusers when locals and Kaya elders came to his rescue.

MPs Korei Lemein (Nakuru South), Johana Ng’eno (Emurua Dikirr), Patrick Ntutu (Narok West) and Mointalel ole Kenta (Narok North) and Stephen ole Ntutu (Narok Senator) were fixed live on TV as we saw. For leading a demo in defense of their people, they were locked up in cells but Director of Public Prosecution Keriako Tobiko, a knight in a shining armor, came to their rescue and put paid to their prosecution bid.

Through-out the history of our parliament, all those who were persecuted by the society, fixed by their rivals or schlonged by the system always ended up being rewarded with parliament seat. I want to leave Wairimu with a piece of advice I picked from his Facebook wall: When it is full moon, all the dogs keep barking at the moon, but the moon neither loses its light nor it moves a bit from its place. You will be in good company in Parliament. And sorry, I declined to ‘like’ your Facebook page.