Let’s stem the tide of spousal murders

-Editorial

It seems the Grim Reaper has hit Kenyan families hard with worrying numbers of spouses killing each other. Officials say they handled 29 cases of either husbands or wives murdering their significant half. Hardly a week goes without news of a husband taking on his wife or children, or a wife doing the reverse. The marriage institution is facing precarious times and urgent intervention is needed. Counselors, religious leaders, opinion shapers and elders must now swing into action to forestall the tragic trend.

Still, parents with adult children entering marriage must take it upon themselves to prepare the young people for the key unit.

Regular guidance and help in solving domestic disputes should concern the elderly members of the society.

When domestic violence spills over, neighbours should also be concerned. Without being nosy, neighbours should help solve such altercations and defuse tension in families. We must take the advice of being our brother’s keeper seriously to help stop these ever-increasing spousal murders.

In most cases, it is the orphaned children who are left to suffer trauma and lack of parental support. Majority of these orphans are forced into the streets and acquire criminal tendencies. This partly explains the rising cases of insecurity, fuelled by vulnerable children co-opted into criminal groupings. Such orphans provide fertile grounds for religious fanatics and criminal gang leaders to recruit potential al-Shabaab members and radicalised youths.

We must always guard against the slide into societal breakdown.

The fatal shootings at a church in Likoni, early this week, were a perfect example of a society descending into dangerous realms. The attackers were only interested in spilling innocent blood. Earlier reports of children being taught warfare and being religiously brainwashed should send a chilling message to all Kenyans.

Dysfunctional families are major causes of chaotic societies.

We urge couples already in marriage or looking to enter the institution to watch out for possible triggers of conflict. Unresolved disagreements are high up on the major cause-list. It is always advisable to dialogue and find solutions to situations triggering constant quarrels. Never let some disputes remain unresolved for too long.

Economic hardships and frustrations caused by the high cost of living is another source of conflict.

This is made worse by peer pressure where spouses constantly admire other people’s lifestyle and aspire to be like them. It is advisable to live within one’s means even as you work for a better future. Putting undue pressure on your partner will only fuel stress and create an avenue for conflicts.

Lack of quality time for each other is also straining most marriages.

With the modern lifestyle and as individuals spend more time earning a living, majority have ignored ‘life’ with their spouses. Creating enough time to talk out issues, share the pressures of work, school or other experiences is crucial to stable marriages.

It could greatly help in defusing simmering anger or anxiety among couples. At the back of the mind of every partner should be the knowledge that while having money and property helps stabilise a family, quality living means sharing adequate time together as a couple.

Adultery or unfaithfulness is also a major cause of domestic upheaval. It has been a problem since time immemorial, but in this era, especially of HIV and Aids, couples must steer clear of the temptation to stray. They must resist the urge to engage in affairs, which often lead to children born out of wedlock. Such children also strain families’ economic and social stability.

Still, we must strengthen the pillars of our society. It is unfortunate that some religious leaders have been caught misleading the flock on several occasions. Instead of counseling troubled unions some pastors have been known to make matters worse.

This is unacceptable.

School teachers must also set good examples to their students. Cases of teachers having affairs with students only contribute to corrupting morals among the youth. Ultimately, taking one’s life or killing a spouse or children does not solve any dispute.

It only perpetuates a grave problem.