So, the internet has been flooding with viral videos of the #kupechallenge, I was not even interested in the videos since I spend most of my time reading inspirational quotes and following Uhuru's international visits.
But because Satan has no manners, I found myself watching four fine men dancing zero to a hundred. And since I too have a masters degree in investigating, gossiping and jumping into conclusions, I swung into action in search of these 'ripe sour porridge'.
Goodness gracious...pauses to fan self.
Went to google search bar and typed 'black men in kupe video', search results came back with nothing. Typed again ' black African men looking like chocolate' still nothing.
Tried again 'black men in video impregnating women' no luck... it is then that my ancestors from my father's side directed me to Instagram. Fam, I had to reactivate my account!
Lord have mercy... pauses to sip anything liquid.
I found them one by one. I clicked on the picture of the first guy and immediately I felt my ovaries shift, I had conceived.
Fam, I need someone to add kerosene to my food as they did in high school, I need an impromptu weekend challenge to deliver me from all the impure thoughts racing in my mind.
Pauses to shake head, Mh! Mh! Mh!
We thank the father' of these men oh! The fathers of these men did not wear tight jeans, thank god! The fathers of these men did not buy the mothers of these men Guarana and boiled chicken when they went out for dates.