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Campus survival guide for freshers

By Ian Duncan | Aug 28th 2017 | 2 min read

Kenyan universities have been closed for a while now, all thanks to the election brouhaha. But they’re about to open again. And, with that, a new wave of socially and academically ‘green’ students will be joining as well. This lot is commonly called ‘freshers.’ If you are one of these people, then this article is for you. I’m going to give a few tips on how to survive in campus for the first few weeks. Listen keenly.

Foremost; acquaint yourself with the school. Know where all the lecture halls, lavatories, and offices are. You don’t want to be that guy that will be told the calculus class will be in Room 19 and you have no idea where that is. Just because you’re new doesn’t mean you should be stupid.

Know the vichochoro of that campus. With this, you will access cheaper meals and affordable accommodation, which will make your life easier. Remember the economy is in the toilet. Meanwhile, don’t try too hard to make friends or to fit in. Give it time, everything will fall into place. Campus is harsh, older students will identify you, pretend to be your friends, use you, and then dump you. Try not to make it too easy for them. Play hard to get.

Stop walking around in crowds all the goddamn time. Y’all just look like a bunch of clueless sheep with their tails in between their legs. Be by yourself, explore, and hit on someone. Shake off the ‘green-ness.’ For the ladies, watch out for sponsors. They are terrible. Their money is sweet, but it comes at a price. Sometimes death!

Gucci and Versace tees are out of date. This is 2017, not bloody Independence Day. Wear something simple yet classy, you don’t have to parade your spoilt butt around campus in those shiny Versace tees and Jordans and hover boards. We get it, you have low self-esteem and constantly need flashy things to fill that void. Just do it somewhere else.

Have fun. If you don’t enjoy first year then you probably won’t enjoy campus. Don’t date just yet, but get you some girl/boy (or two) to have fun with. You barely know yourself and can hardly tell a worthy mate to offer romance and commitment.

Get out of your comfort zone, do something you have never done before but have always wished to. This freedom will help you to be a responsible person. Recklessness could land you behind bars.

Finally, there is the ‘little’ question of marks for sex. Watch out for such characters and study hard. Ladies and Gentlemen, there you go. Campus 101. Now go out there and make papa proud. Thank me later.

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