SECTIONS

It's a lie! Cheating is never a mistake

Cheating is a very intentional and deliberate act (Photo: iStock)

Each of us has experienced being duped at least once in our lives or has committed adultery without being discovered. The whole issue of infidelity is quite painful since it is typically the end of many relationships and marriages.

When caught, we’ve seen people accuse the devil; some claim it was the worst thing they’d ever done, while others claim it was just an accident; they never intended to do it in the first place and would never do it again.

People don’t suddenly decide to cheat one morning, which is something we don’t want to accept. Nope! Cheating involves several steps. They begin by chatting to the individual they wish to cheat with and even engage in joint deliberation.

They choose the date and location with such care. Pay for the location, then carry out your mission. Because they had the option to not cheat, they did so in all due wisdom.

Cheating is a very intentional and deliberate act. It costs money and requires time to do this because logic and reason sometimes struggle to prevail over emotions when forming judgments on love and betrayal. Infidelity is planned, and when feelings and attachments take centre stage, it is chosen.

When it gets to a point where someone feels the “need” to have a different sexual partner than the one they made vows to, we can’t call that an accident or a mistake. Sexuality issues are always complex and differ from person to person.

Something about cheats is that they hardly stop. No one will tell you their partner cheated on them just once and stopped at that! This is a pattern and you all know how patterns are not easy to change, which rules out the ‘mistake’ part. Why would a sane person repeat something they realised was a mistake?

Whether someone swears by all his dead ancestors that they’ll never do it again, they’ll go back to the habit again and even pray to God that they’re not caught, then come back to you with the same old excuses.

Then they’re those who when they get caught, shift blame and play the victim. They’ll either blame you, their partner, or the person they cheated with. We have had those who claim their partners ‘pushed them away’ into other people’s arms.

Others would claim they were simply seduced and blackmailed into the sexcapades. Big lies. No matter how horny or drunk someone is, the decision to sleep with someone else who is not their person is a solid decision. Not a mistake.

Cheats are selfish humans who think about satisfying their own sexual desires without putting in mind the feelings of their significant others. They had the choice of being loyal but chose to philander, something they come to regret later in life because this is mostly short-lived.

The short-term sexcapades sometimes without orgasms are just that - pure lust that doesn’t last.

Additionally, these people are not very intelligent! A person like that will offer you plenty of grounds for suspicion. When they try to play it cool, they’ll behave oddly, but deep down, they’ll be screaming with fear. Nothing thrills a person more than the prospect of having sex with a new partner. They could even want to apologise for cheating on you in advance.

There is no justification for infidelity unless and until one is very inebriated and doesn’t truly know what they would be doing. Every single person who cheats believes their loved ones won’t catch on.

They made the decision to hide behind the error bush. We can argue and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t on purpose and intentional if it happens only once and doesn’t happen again. When one reaches this point, they stop after realising their “mistake.”

Well, this topic in general didn’t begin today and may not finish anytime soon. Cheaters are cheaters, and we shouldn’t ever accept their justifications for their actions. Anyone with a rational mind can see and distinguish between good and wrong. We don’t deceive people by accident, and we don’t fall into their arms by mistake. When we see them, we flirt, make plans, and choose to cheat.

Y’all remember how that Jacob dude from the Bible slept with the wrong woman for the whole effing night and when the cock crowed at dawn, he acted surprised that the babe wasn’t the one he had worked for at his uncle’s for seven freaking years! Ogopa.

Let’s stop glorifying serial cheats in the name of “they were pushed or manipulated into cheating”. If they cheat on you, it’s been on their minds and they meant to do it. However innocent and surprised they may sound, believe me they planned it! And enjoyed every bit of it - and they’ll do it again and again.

The only mistake was being caught. Cheating is not an accident like you’d slip on an avocado peel and fall in bed, naked, with someone who isn’t yours.

It is a choice.