Realising that you’re actually in a one-minded or one-sided relationship is never good for anyone’s esteem.
The worst part is that by the time you see what’s really happening, you will have put in so much effort and wasted so much time.
A one-sided situation can happen to anyone including those who are seasoned daters.
To avoid being hurt and disappointed this way, here are some of the signs you should be on the lookout for should you suspect you’re practically dating yourself:
- You feel like a burden
If you want to know how someone truly feels about you, look at their actions. It’s hard to hide it if you feel a certain type of way about someone because you can only pretend for so long.
When you’re around them and you are seeing all the signs that they don’t care about you, you should be worried. If the only time they are showing you intimacy is when sex is involved, they are only concerned about their needs and using you.
- You are not on their priority list
When something is a priority to you, it means you sacrifice. And not just any kind of sacrifice, you are more willing to compromise on things that are important to you, for its sake.
If you sense that you come last in their lives they are simply not concerned about you.
- You are emotionally drained
A relationship that is actually working should make you feel happy. You will encourage each other, you won’t feel insecure all the time and people will even notice that you’re happier since you started dating this person.
But, when you are the one doing all the work, you will struggle to be truly happy. You can try and pretend that everything is okay but deep down you will know that it’s taking a toll on you.
The fact is that you wouldn’t be feeling emotionally exhausted if you were both putting in the effort.
- You have learnt to make excuses for them
When you’re in love and you’re trying to make everything work, you might not see the red flags easily. That is because everything looks wonderful including the warning signs.
Once you learn to cope by excusing their behaviour, there is a problem. You will know that you need to see the truth if your friends and family are worried about you but you keep defending your partner.
You have to learn how to differentiate how someone behaves when they genuinely love and want you versus when they don’t.
- They never said it was official
It’s possible to be in an imaginary relationship without realizing that it was never real in the first place. Some people might show all the signs that they are seeing you exclusively like taking you on dates, spending time with you and even introducing you to a couple of friends, when they are not being one hundred per cent serious with you.
You shouldn’t be afraid of ever asking the ‘what are we?’ question because you can’t assume that this person is interested in being in a relationship with you. It’s definitely better to know the truth instead of dating yourself the whole time.