Elements of 'State of the Nation' speech that Ruto ought to have delivered

Caption "My fellow citizens, I'm not certain if this gives me any pleasure any more to stand before this august House, which I am accused of capturing, or even addressing this nation, when every citizen is chanting: Kasongo, Wantam, Must Go... How do Kenyans think I respond to such chants that convey utter contempt for my person and the institution I represent? Isitoshe, the fake media will be out there conducting what they call fact-checking, insinuating I am a liar. As to the question of whether I consider myself to be a liar, your guess is as good as mine. I believe I have faced a more hostile media than all my four predecessors put together. That I am still in power today, despite the efforts from local saboteurs, in cahoots with their international donors and backers, is a manifestation that I am better than all my predecessors put together. Even though I am not here to toot my horn, I think the nation's economy is in better shape than it ever was because my personal circumstances have improved. I mean, I don't want to sound boastful or self-absorbed but if I could start off selling chickens by the roadside, and rise to where I am today, it means any of us can succeed if we apply our minds. That's what I mean when I say some folks have no akili because they have not ascended to where I am, despite many of them starting life at a higher keel. Imagine where I'd be if my father had brand recognition, as those dynasties do. I suppose it's never too late to establish one's own dynasty. If I am dwelling on myself too long, it could be that one of my aides used ChatGPT instead of using his or her akili to write this. I mean, Kenya has no shortage of people who have no akili. Let me now turn to the elephant in the room: job creation. I know those busy bodies at those fake media outlets claim the economy did not generate a fraction of the jobs promised or build as many houses as we projected. I don't want to be disrespectful, but if someone has not created even a single job opportunity in their lifetime, or build a house all their working life, how do they expect William Ruto to create a million jobs a year, and build as many houses? I mean, let's get serious! Tunaelewana? Just because I said I'd do something doesn't mean I'll commit to it because some things are beyond me. That's what Kenyans don't understand, and it doesn't make me a liar. See, I tried to export labour, because remittances from Kenyans abroad fetched more than coffee and tea put together. I mean, we need to use our akili because numbers don't lie. Indeed, the dollars and euros sent home by Kenyan in the diaspora surpassed what our tea and coffee earned the country. But when a few workers returned in caskets, after some minor quarrels escalated because Kenyans took their kisirani abroad, and someone was thrown off a balcony-and they died by bad luck - now Ruto is being blamed for subjecting Kenyans to slavery in the Gulf. And I keep asking myself: what do Kenyans expect me to do? Do they expect me to leave my job at the State House to go and work in Dubai? People must use their akili, bwana! I will refrain from talking about agriculture because, as a farmer myself, I know the rains have failed and things are looking grim. I will talk about that next season, when things improve. Now, I invite the fake media to go fact-check every word I have uttered. In case they have forgotten, I have a PhD and I understand these things better than all the 55 million Kenyans put together. That's why some regard me a miracle worker, even though the only miracle I have delivered is ascending to power, against all odds, and staying on, against even greater odds."

Elements of 'State of the Nation' speech that Ruto ought to have delivered

Get Full Access for Ksh299/Week.

Related Topics

Popular this week

Latest Stories

The Standard Insider

Digger Classified

GET OUR NEWSLETTER

CONNECT WITH US

FOR THE LATEST JOB ADVERTS

DIGGER JOBS

Digger Motors

Digger Real Estate

Elements of 'State of the Nation' speech that Ruto ought to have delivered

Get Full Access for Ksh299/Week.

Related Topics

Trending Now

Popular this week

Latest Stories

The Standard Insider

Digger Classified

GET OUR NEWSLETTER

CONNECT WITH US

FOR THE LATEST JOB ADVERTS