It's been said that ladies are attracted to bad boys. But truth is, no lady wants a man who will hurt her; no lady wants a man who is a womanizer, a liar, violent, abusive, lazy, selfish, cold, unfaithful, a loser or life-threatening.
The "bad" that ladies are often attracted to is not bad when it comes to character but "bad" in style and personality- a man who is loyal and loving to the woman but has a strong and almost care free personality, a man who is exciting and nicely dangerous; who brings the good kind of drama and makes her blood run. One who takes risks. "Good" is safe, boring, rigid and so predictable...
Notice the (" ") in mentioning "Good" and "Bad"
1. A "bad" man kisses his woman out of the blue, he doesn't ask for permission to touch her, he grabs her and lets out his macho ways.
A "good" man asks for permission, he plays it too safe and doesn't catch her by surprise... Women love thrill when they are with the man they like/ love.
2. A "bad' man sometimes is not available, his life is not just about the woman, he is busy chasing his dreams, sometimes he has no time for her for good reasons.
A "good" man is ever there, all up in the woman's face, she can easily use him and derail him, he is too easy... In as much as women love spending time with their men, they want the man to have a life, to be elusive sometimes, to be on the move and be miss-able.
3. A "bad" man apologizes only once about a wrong and moves on with life loving her, he has no time to wallow in a mistake done yet the matter has been resolved.
A "good" man keeps apologizing even when the woman has forgiven him, attempting to sound sensitive but he sounds like a broken record... Women don't like delving into a resolved matter, they want progress.
4. A "bad" man looks deep in a woman’s eyes it's like he's searching her soul, he seems intense and hungry for her, and sometimes his eyes look like they are undressing her.
A "good" man is too shy, intimidated by a woman's look, his eyes lack fire...Women get turned on by a man's powerful eye contact, they melt when piercing male eyes focus on them.
5. A "bad" man acts out his fantasies of the woman in reality, he holds nothing back.
A "good" man lives in the fantasy world, too timid to live out the hidden desires in his mind... Women love adventure, if her man finds her sexy he should show her, they want a man who speaks up.
6. A "bad" man sees sex as an important topic, he will let her in his intimate horny mind because he knows she also thinks about sex, he knows that sex is Godly and a beautiful gift from God not a taboo.
A "good" man views sex as an evil and dirty thing, he thinks talking about sex with his woman is disrespectful... Women are sexual and naughty beings too, a man who knows he is hot, they want their men to be open and bold sexually, they want to talk about God, dreams, family, business, feelings, life and sex too.
7. A "bad" man will say a firm no and give reasons why. He cannot be forced to do something or be sat on.
A "good" man because he wants to make her happy, he will do what she asks even though he resents it at heart, and he keeps his reservations inside and wears a fake smile... Women will not take a man's no too personal when they ask him to do something, they love a man who can stand his ground.
8. A "bad" man will speak with authority even if he is wrong.
A "good" man will be unsure of himself afraid of failing or coming out wrong... Women love a man who is decisive and stands by his decisions even if wrong, it's better to be vocal and fail than sit by the fence and be fifty-fifty.
9. A "bad" man will spark off to defense if his woman is attacked, he jumps to her defense whether she is attacked by strangers, friends or his family.
A "good" man wants to hold peace and lets his woman be attacked as he watches from a distance... Women love a man who will protect at all cost, a bad boy who no one can mess with and no one can mess with his woman.
10. A "bad" man will tell off his woman if she is starting to lean on another man.
A "good" man will watch his woman slip into the hands of another man and say “it’s ok, you do what you want", he is passive and diplomatic... Women love a man who goes to war for them, a man who will not lose without a fight, a man who marks his territory; they love it when he feels protective, it makes them feel special.
11. A "bad" man is not afraid of an argument or disagreement with his woman, because he knows they will kiss and make up.
A "good" man wants to avoid trouble so he never confronts, he'd rather she has her way than they confront each other and so issues are never solved just hidden under the carpet to explode later... Women know that sometimes through conflicts, issues are ironed out, an argument is not the end of love.
12. A "bad" man takes charge when having sex, he leads and asks for sex, he is forward to his woman.
A "good" man because he thinks sex is a dirty taboo comes off as cautious, she can tell he is holding back... Women love to be led sexually, they want their husbands lusting after them, sniffing on them, in control because this turns them on and makes them want to surrender to pleasure and give pleasure back.
13. A "bad" man says what he wants during sex, if he wants a blow job, a hand job, doggie; he asks.
A "good" man wants to be well-behaved in bed and so even though he wants something he keeps it to himself... Women can't read minds, they love a man who knows what he wants and requests it, and it makes them feel sexy and more aroused when they see their husband lost in pleasure.
14. A "bad" man will not give fake compliments, if the woman doesn't look good he will tell her, if her hair or clothes are not wow he will let her know with love, that way she improves.
A "good" man because he wants to show he cares for her feelings will mince his words and even lie she looks good... Women love honesty in a man.
15. A "bad" man is unpredictable, mysterious and spontaneous.
A "good" man is scared to live... Women love the element of surprise.
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16. A "bad" man takes charge of a date and the conversation, he is an entertainer and wants to show her he can wow her, he takes responsibility for the success or failure of the date or conversation.
A "good" man will be passive, the kind to tell her "We can do that if you want", he can look at her with nothing to say during a date... Women love to be entertained, they love being the main character in a script of two masterminded by the man.
17. A "bad" man has no rules, no limits, ready to explore.
A "good" man is too cautious and wants no trouble... Women love some measure of danger and trouble, as long as the trouble betters their love; trouble makes the best memories.
18. A "bad" man will not take nonsense from a woman, if she plays games his macho self walks away.
A "good" man is like a carpet to walk over, the woman can do any wrong she pleases and he'll take her back making her lose respect for him... Women love a man who demands her best, a man who challenges her to give her best love or he will walking away.
19. A "bad" man is too ego-centric to feel sorry for himself whether he has no money, life has given him a blow or things are not going his way.
A "good" man wants to be a baby and feel sorry saying "It's ok to cry", he walks like a defeated person... Women love a man who is a fighter, a man too proud to pull down.
20. A "bad" man oozes confidence and leadership even if it attracts criticism.
A "good" man doesn't want others to think he is too ambitious, he doesn't stand out and is lost in the crowd because he doesn't want attention or public attacks for standing for something... Women love a man who knows what he knows and is unapologetic about his greatness, a man who walks in a room and heads turn as she smiles saying "That's my soldier!"
© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech
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