Speak up: When expectations go unmet at home

Speak up: When expectations go unmet at home (Photo: iStock)

Imagine coming back home to find it exactly as you had left it in the morning, dishes piled high in the kitchen, musty and surfaces untouched. Yet your partner stays home all day. Or how about your husband, who allows his relatives to show up at your house unannounced just because they were in “Nairobi”? Feeling worked up already? Now picture what goes on in your spouse’s mind!

Such moments represent a fundamental breakdown in the management of expectations. Our unspoken standards act as invisible tripwires within a relationship whereby one partner feels like they are failing a test they never knew they were taking in the first place, while the other grows increasingly resentful that their “obvious” needs are not being met.