Money won’t buy love, cougar

By SILAS NYANCHWANI

Last week, The Nairobian carried a depressing story of a young man allegedly stabbed to death by his 34-year-old lover. Reason: He was cavorting with a younger woman. Adrian Kabala, an ‘A’ student, was only 21. 

We all know that scoring an ‘A’ in KCSE is a feat not accomplished by one per cent of candidates annually. 

Such a brain box was a blessing to his family and a great future asset to Kenya too- had the young man’s libidinous appetite intervened, tragically.

Possessing a 1000MW libido has always been a path to self-destruction and a sure passport to taking that journey where no traveller returns.

History is awash with big and small men, who died or lost power, via their jazzed up sexual potency. 

Lately, we’ve been waking up to women with very healthy sexual appetites. Their libido can set Nairobi ablaze. 

Their carnal demands can only be met by either a very randy man their age or someone younger, oozing unfettered machismo. If all fails, they can go online and buy a buzzing sex toy.

 But for those opting for younger men, I have a few biological and sociological realities to remind them given that women can be forgetful. 

For starters, drop your naïve idealism. That young man will not love you. Period.

Such relationships offer money to the young man and good sex for the woman. Nature is not perfect.

The biological and physical appeal of a woman goes down, the closer she inches to menopause.  And like a sick joke, their sexual desire grows with age. Younger women always pose a greater danger;  they are   stronger magnets to men who are age mates to Kenya’s independence.

Those young men in Nairobi gyms are merely upping their thug appeal for cougars and unbridled paid-up sex — a win-win situation for them.

They know their biceps often connote endless erotica  in the perverted minds of women who have outshone men in ogling, if the popularity of rugby fans among women is any yardstick. Their motive is not and will never be love or something more abstract like companionship.

Secondly, men know the reason they enter a sexual liaison.

They can figure a way out while two-feet in. Women can be clueless, regardless of their age.

There are those who fight younger girlfriends, or text unsavoury messages, warning the competition.

Cougars ought to know which side of their Boflo has ghee. 

They cannot shackle a young man oozing machismo  in monogamy even if they dangled keys to the Central Bank.

 Mostly, young men bolt, no matter how handsome the package.

Thirdly, cougars should learn to deal with the immaturity of men in the cusp of callow youth. 

They are capable of anything: using your Beamer to ferry around their younger squeezes, often to the chagrin of Madam Cougar. Deal with it.

Finally, act your age, cougars. It helps.

Nothing is more shameful than a woman who heard Jomo Kenyatta shout “Harambee!” trading insults with a man who grew college moustache when Uhuru Kenyatta became Kenya’s head honcho. 

It makes all of us lose faith in humanity.  You can’t have your cake and eat it, cougar.

[email protected]

@nyanchwani