Holidays feel different after years abroad

Is it just me, or does the meaning we attach to holidays metamorphose as the years pass? In the last five years, I’ve noticed feeling a disjointed relationship with Christmas and New Years it feels as if my holiday spirit is still searching for its identity.

Whenever December rolls in, it has borne a stark resemblance to any other month of the year for me and, in fact, has felt a tad lonelier than I imagined. For many years in Australia, the holidays were celebrated with chosen family. We cooked and ate too much food, we played games, exchanged gifts and found creative ways to hide from the punishing heat of Australian summers.

The beach saw us frequently and there was a feeling of never-ending togetherness a conjoined commiseration of nostalgia stories of Christmases and New Years come and gone, video chats with family back in the motherland, and reveling in the reflection of the year that just passed, each year swearing that the next year we would celebrate Christmas back home, and fantasising about a group trip to Africa that scarcely comes to fruition.

Lately, it feels like I’ve unlocked a realisation previously unknown to me, as it has become painfully obvious that the holiday spirit and cheer are not to be enjoyed accidentally.

I don’t think it ever occurred to me previously that it gets to a point in adulthood where the holiday spirit must be intentionally curated and mapped out for maximum enjoyment and minimal stress.

This is where I look back and realise all the planning it would have taken my parents for the 19 years I lived at home, that’s 19 Christmases and New Years, 19 trips to multiple destinations, 19 reminders that my siblings and I had the luxury of being fed, watered, and carefree and on someone else’s tab!

Entering the chat nowadays is social media, and we are immediately immersed in a contagion of comparison. Matching pajamas will attack our algorithms between Christmas and New Year's; the Christmas trees we only saw in movies are now a tangible reality; it’s all real, and at the same time, not.

Social media is not a real place; reality is where your feet are. Magic can be created with but a simple intention; there is no price tag attached either.

As we wind down the year, choose that which you wish to experience, and gift yourself the freedom to experience exactly that. I wish you all peace, joy, love, and good health. The coming year is already blessed. Happy New Year!

-The writer is a lawyer and podcaster