Many women in the city have remained virgins even after several years in marriage. And yes, they are busy having sex in the wrong way.
It’s interesting to hear that some couples have been in marriage for over five years but have never ‘actually had sex.’ And don’t blame them because they just do not know how to fulfil that very important aspect of marriage.
This may be surprising in a country where premarital sex has been described as an epidemic. Dr Valentino Lema of The Agha Khan University Hospital in African Journal of Reproductive Health says the cases are mainly common in communities in which chastity is strictly observed, and any transgression is frowned upon or severely punished.
This condition, which he calls ‘white marriage,’ or ‘honeymoon impotence,’ occurs when a couple has not been able to consummate the marriage despite several attempts.
Such cases are common in traditional and conservative religious cultures such as Judaism, Hinduism and Islam. ‘White’ alludes to the absence of hymenal blood on a couple’s sheets.
Dr Lema says he has treated 10 cases of unconsummated marriages in his private clinic in Nairobi over the last five years. The doctor tells of a young couple, *John (28) and *Jennifer (25) who had visited his clinic with the problem of failure to conceive despite numerous attempts in their five year marriage. The couple, who were first cousins, came together when both were virgins in an arranged marriage.
Upon observation, the doctor says, he found both to be in perfect health, had no problem with their reproductive systems and were having sex regularly.
Closer examination however revealed that the woman had not lost her virginity. Many other cases have been reported where couples are not able to have babies simply because they are clueless when it comes to sex because the topic is never discussed openly.