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Opinion: Men are better off dating older women

My Man

The biggest news from the Western hemisphere a few months ago was the tightly contested French elections that Emmanuel Macron won against Marine Le Pen by razor-thin margin, prompting a May 7 run off.

Another news emerged that the dashing Macron is married to a woman who is 24 years older than him and that has become the story, despite the two contenders being outsiders who represent extreme ideological differences. 

Macron's wife was his school teacher and he vowed to marry her when he was just 17. The father exiled the probable future president if only to scatter them, but according to a Daily Mail interview, this only strengthened their resolve and now, Brigittie Trogneux is likely to be the First Lady. Virtually every French president after the Second World War had some unusual marriage arrangement that by our puritanical standards, would be frowned upon. The latest was that of Francois Hollande. Even his predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy maintained the 'tradition.'

But a French friend recently told me that it is the non-French who are always fixated by these things and that in France, few people know about Macron's romantic life. All they care about is if he will beat Le Pen in the runoff. Blame it on the British or is it American morality that polices the public lives of politicians of countries that subscribe to their doctrines.

When you come down to it, every man will confess to have fantasised about sleeping or marrying an older teacher back in school. It may have been the beautiful madam in primary school, or the young female teachers on teaching practice in high school who gave us wet dreams. Many a boy was caned for not being able to control an erection on a hot afternoon. Even the kerosene soup they served with githeri never took care of our restless loins.

There is always something alluring about an older woman - a well-kept woman in the evening side of her 30s or early 40s. We call them MILFs and for a reason. Some call them derogatorily as 'cougars'. But all in all, every man at some point in his life will want to sleep with an older woman and increasingly many don't mind marrying an older woman.

Older women are rich in experience. If educated, they can have substance and the intellectual firepower to sustain a good conversation after sex. Or during a dinner date. Dating young people can be frustrating if you are not into fashion and trash Hollywood nonsensical drama series. Women, even those who get first class honours in campus are deeply apathetic in world affairs and anything that is not on Instagram. That kills me. But older women are above that.

Older women are wiser and patient and can give a young man patience to grow, make mistakes and learn. Younger women are a pain in the neck. And wallet. Older women are well-networked and can swing a job or money your way if you perform well where it matters.

Having been there, done it, with a few medals to boot, I can tell you without fear of doubt that older women do not suffer the insecurities of younger women. They probably pay their rent, hence they don't have to lie to you, play you, or do anything desperate for rent or a smartphone. Dealing with a woman who has or can take care of her lifestyle is one of the best gifts of living in a large, predatory city like Nairobi.

When was the last time you chose ‘you’?

Many Nairobi men of my age know the trouble of dating young women, since the instant you have a night out with her, a text will land on your phone 72 hours later asking for Sh 5,000 for her gas, rent or anything. Older women are past these setbacks.

However, older women can be control freaks. They can act like your mother at her worst, and you must be at their beck and call. Though not all are like this. Another thing is that they can dump you at their own pleasure, and you must be on the alert, lest they pull a fast one on you. But still, the merits by far outstrip the demerits.

My advice is, if there is an older woman somewhere you are eyeing and want to marry, do so by all means. It can be the best thing that can happen to you.

@nyanchwani [email protected]


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