I’m a recovered sex addict and two girls from my past won’t leave me alone

Dear Coleen,

I am a recovering sex addict, and the two girls I used to have sex with all the time keep trying to come back into my life.

I have made an effort to keep away from them by changing my phone number, and I no longer log on to any of my social media accounts, but they both still turn up – not at the same time – on the road where I live or near my work.

Please help me. I don’t know what else to do.

Coleen says

If you’re being 100% honest and not secretly enjoying the attention, you have to be clear that they’re wasting their time.

Have you told them you’re a sex addict and have been in treatment? If not, they might think you’re playing hard to get! I think it’s important for your recovery to be honest with the people who were part of the addiction.

If that doesn’t make a difference and they turn up at work, ask a colleague to request that they leave. If they start harassing you, get a restraining order.

If you’re an addict, you have to accept that there’s always going to be temptation. These girls are a powerful draw to your previous life, but if it wasn’t them, it would be someone else.

You need to develop the tools to help you when temptation strikes – something that can distract you in that moment.