Devil is cops and drinking ‘before hours’

Police on patrol and Kenyans who love ruining their liver (despite the shortage of specialists in that department) have never been friends.

That is unless a Kenyan is invited to the police canteen where cheap ndogogio from AFCO is sold warm as police pubs rarely have fridges.

Indeed, two major enemies of the over taxed drinker are police road blocks starring alco-blow and cops on patrol out to smoke “stakeholders” drinking “after hours” and for which they will surely burn in the hottest chochoro of hell.

Karao Kiprop, a cop who has kiherehere kama bibi ya chief, is notorious for storming Wa-Hannah’s despite being a regular drinking officer there. Sometimes it’s not even 11pm when he comes kuchokoza civilians.

There was this time he entered the local on a Monday lunch time with intent to arrest anyone committing a felony only to find Kang’ethe, who brags of being in the ‘construction industry’ never mind he mostly supplies kokoto, drinking ‘Rotich’ quarter after clearing kichwa mbuzi dry fry with pilipili mbili, which he calls white meat.

Karao Kiprop attempted to put handcuffs, also known as ‘bangili za serikali’ in local parlance, on Kang’ethe before lifting his suruali from behind, with the offender carrying unfinished evidence.

But the old metal countered the move with “I am not drinking after hours... and it’s not against any Kenyan law to drink before hours,” mouthed Kang’ethe who went on educate Karao Kiprop that if a Kenyan is caught drinking before hours, it’s the waiter who has “committed a felony” for “selling before hours.”

Karao Kiprop can’t put ‘government bracelets’ on Nyambu’s hands. Not after that steamy night when he shaved her fudhi with a Nacet razor blade when she chewed a blackout at Raha Yangu Bar & Lodging.

“Have you even been vetted?” prodded Kang’ethe, prompting Kiprop to warn him against “kucheza na kirauni.”

It was not the first Kang’ethe had a run in with cops since coming to Nairobi “ikiwa na choo moja ya Kanjo.”

Kang’ethe, who has opened an M-Kesho credit account with Nyambu, once asked cops at a road block: “mna fanya nini hapa usiku kwa baridi....hamna makwenu?” but as he gassed his jalopy to speed off, he crushed those Godforsaken dim lamps police place next to spikes which our hero ran over, bursting tires.

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