The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Hi Chris,
I get along well with everyone at work but struggle at home. And so my husband and I are forever arguing! Why can’t I do as well in my marriage as I do at my job?
Why?
Chris says,
Hi Why!
At work, you’ve acquired a set of social skills that make you a winner. Like showing respect while not being a pushover. Disagreeing pleasantly. Knowing when to interrupt and when not to. Understanding the flow of a discussion and how to change people’s minds. Understanding tricky situations. Knowing what can be changed and what can’t.
Now you need to apply the same skills at home. Because the chances are you’re nicer to your boss than your husband!
Taking each other for granted, shouting and screaming and getting angry, would get you fired at work, but somehow it’s quite ‘normal’ at home.
- How to baby proof your home in Kenya
- Parental kissing: Should parents kiss their children on the mouth?
- The cost of mother shaming
- Fear of a 'toxic' label should not deter parents from disciplining their children
Keep Reading
So try preparing to discuss something difficult at home as if you were going to talk to your boss!
At work, you stick to the point. While at home it’s all too easy to bring in loads of other issues as the argument gets more heated. Learn to deliver simple, clear messages at home too.
Skilful managers work hard to change people’s minds without actually arguing. They tackle touchy situations by sandwiching complaints between compliments.
Try that at home: ‘Thanks for tidying up after dinner.’ Then the complaint: ‘Perhaps you could also wash the plates instead of just piling them on the worktop!’ Finally, another compliment: ‘But I really do appreciate how much you’re helping!’
At work, you’ll often get over a difficulty by taking responsibility and moving on. Even if it isn’t entirely your problem. Try that at home. Like a simple, ‘OK, I’ll do it’ instead of having your umpteenth row about who should pay a bill. Taking responsibility gets you far more respect in the long term.
And remember how you under-promise and over-deliver when dealing with clients? The same thing goes in relationships.
Using your work-social skills at home will make your marriage just as successful as your career!
All the best,
Chris
join