Girl code: Why do men behave like ghosts?

Why do men take the little things in a relationship for granted? I mean, once you get into a relationship or marriage, I believe it is your responsibility to keep your partner updated -- especially on your whereabouts.

Women take the cup home when dealing with such scenarios. A woman will always keep her man updated on her every move. Not because she wants the man to keep tabs on her but just for the record. You never really know, this information could come in handy.

As a woman, I have mastered the art of relaying my every move to my man. Even if I get to work one morning and find that my desk has been moved from the far right to the far left, that’s the first thing I would call and inform him about. I know it doesn’t sound like something worth saying but believe me, it is. Women update their men even on simple things like what they have had for lunch and how it tasted.

Men, on the other hand, were created to give women unnecessary mini heart attacks regarding updates on their movements. To men, talking about your location is not a big deal. You will bid them goodbye in the morning as they go to work in the CBD in Nairobi and when you call them over lunch hour to ask what they are having for lunch, you will be met by, “I am on my way to Nakuru for a meeting. Will be back in the evening.”

How do you just leave your office in Nairobi and head to Nakuru for a meeting without telling your woman? Do you know how many miles those are? And what if a marabou stork grabs you between Naivasha and Gilgil and flies you to wherever? How will I be expected to know that it’s my man who has been airlifted by a bird when it appears as ‘Breaking News’?

You men just have no idea how much being just a kilometre from you makes our hearts skip a beat. Just the thought of you heading to your workstations without us keeps our imaginations ripe but we have to brave the action because you must work.

We are supposed to take care of each other for crying out loud. If you knew you were going to be in Nakuru for the better part of the day, it’s only fair to tell your partner. That way, she will ensure that you have everything you need for the trip. From safe drinking water, shoes comfortable enough to run in case a buffalo attacks your vehicle, a hat to shield your handsome head from the sun and a few packed snacks just in case you are caught up in traffic.

Some men even wake up in the morning to tell their wives, “I am going for a three-day seminar in Mombasa starting today.” Seriously? As your woman, I should be getting that information at least two months before the D-day so that I have enough time to process your absence for those days.

You have no idea just how much you scare us with your abrupt random movements. Personally, if I am supposed to come back home late for one evening, I will alert my man months before. Men will not even alert you if they are spending the night out. You just wake up in the morning to find yourself frozen all alone in bed. You quickly switch on the television to see if there is any breaking news and grab your phone to check for missed calls only to find nothing. Then you will find them strolling back to the house the next day as if nothing happened!

One time, I went to report that my man was missing after he failed to come back home for 24 hours. The CID and I frantically worked on tracing him only to realise he had been hoping from one club to another, making merry. He came back home a day later claiming that he had been kidnapped. Dear men, kindly make it easier for us. Thank you.

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