Real men are in Bukusu land

This guy who lives next to our care taker, or better still, Tony Mochama, should know that random is random and it has nothing to do with this Beautiful Educated Religious Young Lady (BERYL), but do I say! He is always putting the word 'random' and my name in the same sentence as if that's my prefix!

Boss, relaaax the only prefix I am about to own is Professor, before then, I remain Wanga Itindi Beryl.

Oh, don't assume that everything that swims is a fish, my name might sound like that of Patel's son-in-law but duh, I am not Bukusu. The fact that I am typing this from Komayole should be evidence enough.

All the Bukusus are back home right now. In our culture, we keep private things that deal with private parts private. They are, however, my brothers from another mother and I will not sit back and watch you send them to a bottomless pit with last week's advice. (Random thought; why would Tony concentrate on Bukusus while giving advice meant for all men? Is he admitting that men from Western are more men than the others?) I said it was random!

How could he even advise them to bribe their in-laws in order to receive blessings? In Western, we do not bribe to be accepted in a family. There isn't enough money circulating in our pockets to bribe our way into marriages whether cross-cultural or not.

As in-laws, you only have two choices, one, accept us, or two, refer to one above. If you cannot do any of the above, sit back and watch us increase the number of future voters. When we grow up, we want to be Tharaka Nithi, this dream can only come true if we get married to the people we love no matter what people say.

Women seem to fight their way into marriages just to please their families. They would go to the extent of helping their men bribe their families so that they are accepted. It's like jumping into a pool in the shallow end and starting to swim towards the deep end yet you do not know how to swim. If there isn't a life guard around (read common sense), you will drown na utazikwo usauliwo!

If I were in the shoes of the Asian girl in Bukusuland, I would have done the same thing she did. I give her 100 per cent for that. Follow your heart and take your brain with you. She still holds her family close to her heart, this you can see from the look in her eyes whenever she speaks about them.

Some great philosopher on Facebook once said YOLO, whoever it was was definitely not high on some Countryman. If you start off your marriage as a marathon, you will run forever and there will be no finish line for you. To all the Bukusus out there; Ooops, sorry, I meant to say men. To all the men out there, if you like it, crown it.

All the single ladies out there, while the rest of the world will be going to Maasai Mara to watch the Wilderbeest, a trip to Bukusu land will do us good! That's where real men are.

Tony, did you just say point-five tois are cute? Wow, now am going back to that interracial dating site to activate my account. I also want my children to advertise diapers on billboards in future!

Photo: www.mumbairock.com