Guys, by this I mean men; picture this. You have a few coins in your pocket and are walking around town, then while window shopping, you espy this sleek phone. The features are unparalleled, it's a gadget that bequeaths status, the type of phone that can get ladies drooling and uplift your status among drinking buddies from mpatie moja tu mletee tatu.
Just as the thought of owning it overwhelms you, you realise that your rent is due. Back to the phone, as much as you would like to buy it, you decide to pay your rent and send the grandmother of your unborn children something. Besides, you reckon the phone you currently have serves you pretty well.
Now that is a typical example of wanting something but not needing it, a situation that explains the back and forth between men and women of this generation.
Look, while your grandmother was probably married - wait, did I say married? Scratch that, kidnapped on her way to the stream and confined in your grandfather's house like a slave at his beck and call - it is paramount that men are reminded that things have changed.
The modern woman wants but certainly does not need a man. While our mothers and grandmothers needed men and regrettably because the patriarchal and chauvinistic society made it so - for food, security, shelter and even to validate their sheer existence - today's woman was created when God was in high spirits and in a mood for modification. Thus, we are cut from a totally different cloth.
No man has a right to compare us to our mothers and grandmothers, because those who masquerade as men today are nothing like our fathers or grandfathers. Those were men who provided, offered security and wisdom that guided the family. The current breed are a poor excuse for masculinity.
Today's woman is educated, emancipated and enlightened. She is brilliant and entrepreneurial; she is decisive and independent-minded, just as she is financially stable.
She can fix bulbs and the only reason she calls a mechanic when she gets a flat tyre is because she doesn't want to mess her hair or because her dress is a little too tight, not because she cannot change the damn thing. This is a woman who can pay her mortgage and afford a car without a loan. The modern woman can ask you out on a date and pick the tab; then while staring deep into your eyes ask, "Your place or mine?"
She is a woman with whom you can reason and is very insightful. Her place is no longer just the kitchen, she is now the queen of the bedroom and boardroom as well. She is not just seen, but also heard.
The new millennium woman accepts to be in a man's life to complement each other and should be respected, understood and loved.
The problem with our men is that while they have accepted change and conformed to it, they still expect us to wallow in oblivion and stick to the past.
That is why they feed us with unsolicited advice like, "Get married within this age bracket or else you will end up bitter blah blah..." Back in the day, a 25-year-old woman would be married as a fourth wife with six children and she will be looking like she's kedo fote two!
Why does it irk men that women are no longer focused on sitting pretty as house wives, suckling a whole load of babies and playing host to distant and close relatives? Those days when the husband was the only one with a solid education and earning a good salary are gone.
Why aren't men reminded of ticking biological clocks or that they will end up as miserable, lonely and bitter bachelors? When men focus on education, career and other stuff besides marriage, why is it that no one petitions them?
Don't get it twisted, we surely WANT men in our lives, of course with the exception of our lesbian sisters. We WANT you for companionship, friendship and sex. But that's as far as it gets. Women don't NEED men.
What we need is oxygen and God. It's only women who are in idol worshipping who would confess their need for men. We'll desire, want, respect and love men, but sure as hell don't need them. When you do not need a man, you will not feel useless or lesser than your worth.
Life is about personal choices and priorities, choosing education and career does not make you a she-devil, a woman who chooses marriage over personal fulfillment is not stupid either. Just as men have made these choices without being judged by the society, please allow us decide what we personally want and need; it is our live after all.