Five most important things in a relationship

Fairytales have deceived many into believing that love and relationships always end with a ‘happily thereafter,’ only to be disappointed once pain and problems start to fester.

The sad truth of the matter is, relationships are complicated.

This is not child play.

And for that reason, you need to understand that what keeps the boat sailing is the trials and errors it comes with. You both have to swallow your pride and learn how to meet each other halfway.

Here are some of the most important things you need to have to keep your relationship happy and healthy.

i.Trust

If you find yourself over thinking and having unreasonable suspicions every time your partner is out with his friends or if he is working late, you have trust issues that need to be dealt with.

You need to know each other well and be open to build a foundation of trust. This way, even if he or she is working in another country, your love will prevail.

Another key factor is keeping information to yourself. Secrets have been known to break even the strongest marriages. Unless it is a sweet anniversary surprise or a gift, do not keep secrets from each other no matter how big or small.

ii.Boundaries

It is important to lay out from the beginning what you want. For instance, if you would like to wait for a few months to get to know each other before having sex or you prefer to meet only on weekends due to work, let it be known.

If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner should be able to understand and respect your boundaries.

But if you feel like they are talking you out of doing what you want like hanging out with family or forcing you to share your passwords, you might need to reconsider that relationship.

At the end of the day, you’re an individual and you have the right to reasonably do what you want with your life and no one should control that.

iii.Learn how to adapt

If you think you can find a partner who likes everything you do and shares the same value system, you need to wake up.

Chances are your partner has different interests and maybe even religious beliefs that don’t align with yours. In that case, what should you do?

You need to have the ability to adapt and respect each other’s uniqueness or you may end up losing a good relationship.

iv.Encourage each other

Sometimes, we feel like we can’t try new do things when you have someone in your life for fear of losing them or destabilizing the relationship.

And yes, it’s very understandable.

However, it is important to encourage each other to try new things. The same way you wouldn’t want to be held back or discouraged from pursuing a new hobby, business or job neither does your partner.

v.Self-love

To some this may not sound like a priority but it is crucial. For you to love someone you must first love yourself. You cannot give something you do not have.

Learn how to be kind and forgiving to yourself. This way, you can also extend it to those around you. If you have to go for counselling to deal with past baggage and issues do so to make yourself a better person for your partner.

At the end of the day when all is said and done, you will only be left with yourself. So better learn how to love and have a relationship with yourself. It will be of benefit to everyone around you.