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Shall I swap my hubby for my male BFF?

Girl Talk

I'm married but now my best friend says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and my kids

Dear Coleen

My marriage isn’t great but I have two sons, aged four and eight, who I love very much and wouldn’t trade for the world.

I also have a male best friend that I have known since college.

We’ve been in touch constantly over the years, meeting up once in a while (he lives in another part of the country). My husband knows him and they have actually met a few times.

Recently, though, things have changed a little between me and this single male BF. I think you know where this is going!

We’ve been jokingly flirting for ever but lately he’s become more serious, to the point where he’s said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and my children.

He said he was stupid not to realise how he felt about me all these years. He even said he’d definitely be a very present father to my kids (which my husband isn’t) and be a better lover who’d please me in bed.

What should I do?

Coleen says

You need to be careful that you’re not getting off your BF what you’re craving from your husband. I’ve fallen for this in the past – someone making me feel attractive again – but once you’re in a relationship with them, it’s not quiet as romantic.

I’m not saying this friend doesn’t mean every word of what he’s saying but you need to sort things out with your hubby first.

Have an honest conversation with him and then take time out on your own to get perspective on the situation.

Tell your husband you’re feeling so unattached to him that you know that if anyone came along and paid you attention, you’d go for it because that’s what you’re craving.

Then the question for you both to ask is: do you work on it or call it a day?

Perhaps your husband has just got complacent – he’s married now with two kids and doesn’t feel he needs to make the effort.

And sometimes people just need a shock to start making that effort again.

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