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How do I know my new partner is ready for intimacy?

Between The Sheets
 How do I get intimate with her without ruining things (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris!

I’ve been going out for a while with a lovely woman, and I think she’s expecting me to start being intimate with her - but I’m not at all certain!

And for sure, I don’t want to do something inappropriate and spoil everything. But how do you tell when a woman really wants you to make love to her?

Will She?

Chris says,

Hi Will She!

You’re right to worry, because it’s always a woman’s choice, and you risk being rejected if you make a move before she’s ready. The trouble is, maybe even she’s not sure! But her subconscious is, so you need to know the signs that reveal that unconscious decision.

Her eyes will give you the first hint. She’ll keep looking at your mouth. If you lick your lips, you’ll see her eyes shift to your tongue. She’ll probably be touching her own body somewhere. Most likely her tummy or her thighs.

She’ll also be running her eyes over your body, and don’t laugh, but the dead giveaway is when she starts checking out your butt! Everyone thinks that’s only a man thing. But women do it too. They’re just subtler about it.

So glance backwards as you head for the bar, and if you catch her eyes slipping towards your rear, then you know what her subconscious is thinking.

Watch too for her stroking her neck or playing with her hair while looking straight at you. She’s not just easing a stiff neck, or adjusting her hair, it’s what’s called autoerotic touching.

She’ll likely also be smiling a lot, fiddling with her clothes, getting closer to you, lowering her voice and maybe even whispering. Her eyes will start to look glittery and sparkly. That’s because her tear glands are over-producing, and the extra liquid’s making her eyes more reflective. Her heart will also beat faster - watch for the pulse at her neck - and her facial muscles will tighten so that her cheekbones appear more prominent than usual.

All these subconscious signals are worth remembering, even after you’ve been a couple for years. But don’t react when you see just one, because it’s only when you see several at once that you can be sure. There will be others too, because we’re all different, and every lady also has her own set of signs. And as couples get to know one another, they develop special ways to let each other know that tonight’s the night. But either way, if you know what to look for, you’ll always make the right move!

All the best,

Chris

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