The most grueling thing about modern day dating is the gruesome process of courtship turned relationship. There is this grey area before you have “the talk” called a situationship and it’s a place that essentially no one has figured out yet. It can be described as the stage of dating that’s more than just dating and almost a relationship, but it is not quite as it seems. Many couples get stuck here and end up crashing their plane even before they get to the relationship level.
If you’re not sure of where you stand, here are clues to help you know if you are in a situationship.
1. You have never been on a proper date
You have been seeing each other for a while but the dinner dates and movie nights you have had are Netflix and chilling at his crib. You have made less effort into getting gassed up to see each other. You hang out together like you have been together for a long time. You have never met his friends and they only know of you as a friend.
2. You have no title
When someone asks the both of you what you are, you reply with awkward responses like “we’re still just seeing each other” or “we’re taking it one day at a time and going with the flow" or "we're not into labels.” You have not had the conversation about what you intend to be and what you want. The guy seems not to be in a hurry to label whatever you have going on, and tends to avoid that conversation.
3. You avoid discussing the future
The idea of having a five year plan and relationship goals is taboo among you. You barely know where you stand and you are never having that discussion together, at all costs.
4. You make future plans without thinking them through
When you actually discuss future plans like upcoming events, plans for your career and possible future moves, you barely factor your partner in the equation. You don’t see yourselves doing them together. You discuss your plans as individuals.
5. You have feelings that are not love
You both care about each other deeply but you have not yet broken the barrier to truly open your hearts to be fully involved and committed to each other.
6. You attend events alone
You attend weddings, Christmas parties, birthdays alone. You never use your plus one privilege, not because you have not thought about it but because you keep telling yourself that you two are not there yet.
7. You are not seeing someone else
It seems like you are exclusive with someone, but you are not. You feel like your relationship needs are being met by one person, so you do not see the need of dating anyone else. On the contrary, nothing holding you back from being with someone else.
8. Texting is your main form of contact
Your texts are very casual. There is no routine “good morning, babe”, but you just have small talk until you make your next plan for Netflix and chill.
10. You have not met their friends
Only your close friends know you are seeing someone but you have never met them. He has probably met your best friend but you have never met any of his friends.
11. You have no pictures together
Despite the amount of time you spend together, you have never taken any pictures together. Don’t even think about posting each other on social media to show that you are in a relationship.
12. You are both playing games
You are in a standoff and each of you is avoiding having the conversation about the actual status of the relationship. You are afraid of what will happen when you talk. The possibility that you will both agree to move on is high and that scares both of you.