Four ways KOT can help add fire to your relationship

The AFCON is off to a great start and looking at the events of this week, we can safely assume things are bound to get even better. Just as in other sports events, the real drama has been happening off the pitch - and this week was no different. The scene of the drama was the infamous Kenyans on Twitter (KOT) where the parallel (and more exciting) games were being played. For those who might not be in the know, KOT simply describes a group of Kenyans who deploy Twitter with serious zeal to address issues of the day.

KOT can be funny, witty and inspirational but can also be vicious and merciless. I am willing to bet that many brands and personalities pray constantly to be on KOT’s good side but for being on their bad side can be a very unpleasant experience - if in doubt ask CNN or our Head of State. KOT has no sense of loyalty – one day you can be their darling, the next their villain.

There seems to be an unspoken rule in the KOT community when it comes to defending Kenya’s honour against the attack of foreigners and foreign bodies - in fact I think KOT should have a designated office in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. It was therefore not surprising that the KOT community took the lead in being active and vocal about Kenya’s AFCON games – the first one with Algeria and the second one with Tanzania. It is my humble view that anyone who wants to succeed in his or her relationship can borrow a leaf from KOT this week - and here is how:

1. Hype and oversell yourself

Just before the Kenya-Algeria match, KOT was alive with memes and tweets about how great Harambee Stars are and how swiftly they would deal with Algeria. It mattered little that history, talent and statistics were not on our side; KOT behaved like we were the greater and better team. The deployment of this approach is the difference between successful and unsuccessful lovers. Successful lovers promise heaven be it in bedroom skill, financial resources and general well-being. Men especially need to know that the successful lover is the one who promises the woman a huge mansion, yet he lives in a bedsitter. He is the man who promises to make the earth move for the woman, yet his equipment cannot even scratch the surface. As KOT has shown us, hype counts for a lot.

2. Be creative

One thing you have to give to the KOT community is their creativity, which comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of the best memes, quotes and sayings have been birthed on the streets of KOT. This week, the best memes were put on show following the Kenya-Tanzania match. It is somewhat comical that most of these memes mimicked a certain Kenyan personality who is said to have quit social media following KOT’s rabid attacks. Anyway, those who want to succeed in love can borrow from KOT’s handbook on creativity. Whoever wants to keep their love aflame must deploy creative lingua - lines like nakufeel, nakulove no longer do the magic. Keeping the love aflame might require going a bit risqué by using imagery and tricks from the movies that Ezekiel Mutua likes to ban. If you want to be loved, then be creative like KOT.

3. Go for the opponent

The KOT community can be merciless and cruel once they identify an opponent. They are often relentless in their attacks and they will dredge up old stories, images to buttress their case. As we all know, there will always be enemies of love - those pretenders to the throne who like to get in the way of well-meaning lovers. What KOT has taught us is that the most effective way to deal with such people it to completely decimate them. For instance, if there is a man creeping up on the woman you love, then using the KOT approach you can eliminate him by launching a brutal smear campaign and directing a fair amount of your resources to deny him any fighting chance. This also applies to women, any slay queen who dares venture near your man must be finished by firing the right verbal and in some cases physical ammunition. As KOT has shown us, opponents and competition must not be shown mercy.

4. Hunt like a pack

The success of KOT has been in the application of the pack or herd mentality. Once KOT identifies a target, they close in from all angles almost like a pack of dogs. Once the pack approach is in full gear, the target stands no chance - they have to surrender and run for the hills. This is the same thing when it comes to matters of love. Those who enter the love hunting ground as pack almost always register greater success. The men who choose to hunt as ‘boys’ as they drive around in convoys and share single malts together almost register greater success. The girls who go as a pack to clubs attract more attention than those who choose to operate like lone rangers. Of course this pack approach can sometimes be too expensive - but if you want to win in love, then go looking for it as a pack.

It is not only in matters love that we can learn from the KOT community. KOT also teaches us about fierce unwavering loyalty when it comes to issues and people – attributes we can use in our families and friendships. KOT teaches about the value of humour and laughter - life really does get more bearable when one laughs at themselves and at others.

Most importantly, KOT teaches us the power of the written word and just how freedom of expression must be protected at all times. Thanks to KOT, we now know that occasional technical glitches can be good since they result in unlimited data bundles. In the meantime, can KOT tweet and meme Harambee Stars into the last 16.

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