Today I am really in the mood to address my fellow women in promising relationships that are a step away from graduating into marriages. If your relationship is unstable or doesn’t seem to have gotten a bearing, worry not, you might be safe from this piece today. By the way, why would you be holding onto a relationship that has no bearing? Don’t even give me an answer, I have realised that I have been in some of those relationships that are swayed by the wind and no one asked me to justify my stay there. One day, when you are tired of being swayed, you will rise up and walk out like you own the world.
Anyway, back to those relationships that are built on the rock. Ladies, it took me quite some time to realise that there’s no perfect man out here. You know, back in the day when I could still fit in the bracket of young adults, I had this suitor who meant the world to me. Together, we steered our relationship towards the right direction. Don’t ask me which direction this was, all I know is that we never set our eyes off the common goal we had, marriage. We were that perfect couple that people looked up to. Everyone wondered how we waded through the tides and emerged victorious.
Then one time, shit hit the fan and I was thrown off balance. Now this is where my topic today comes. Ladies and gentlemen, life has taught me that we are all human and no one is immune to anything. Even the best of the best sometimes slip and fall. How and if they decided, rise back up is what matters. This son of a man from a small village decided to slip and it caught me off. That was one thing I had never experienced with him for almost the decade we had been together. Because of the smooth ride we had so far experienced, I got a notion at the back of my mind that indeed, there are perfect human beings out here and he was one of them. So when he slipped, I got angry and erupted like a volcano that had been triggered to do so. The ‘lava’ I emitted bruised those around me, some permanently.
I beat my small chest in confidence and took the first step out of that relationship claiming I was going to look for a perfect man because in him, I saw imperfections. Like the good man he was, he rose from his fall and was willing to forge ahead with me but as it stood, to me, he was imperfect. My people, I have never walked this earth as much as I walked during the years that followed in search of a perfect man. Everywhere I set foot, imperfection flashed before my eyes with no remorse. I only realised later on that I too wasn’t a perfect person. If people around me could stand my imperfections, what was I doing sourcing around for a perfect man? My realisation came too late though. By the time it hit me that I had made a rush decision exiting the relationship, the man I had walked out on had managed to put his life together and was once again focusing on the marriage goal but with some other beauty.
Sometimes I look back and want to regret but my parents never taught me the meaning of regret. Instead, I have learnt to take that as a lesson. It’s true, if the grass is green on the other side, the water bill is definitely higher. There are issues that we can work on in our relationships and there are those that we will walk out on outright. If I told you what made me walk out today, I am sure you will laugh at me, so let me just lie to you that I don’t even remember what transpired.
You ladies and gentlemen in relationships, look at those relationships like the green grass on the other side. If you find a snake in the grass, finish it. If some ants try building an anthill on it, ambush them and eat their queen, they will mourn and leave the grass, trust me.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke