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I’m 26 and I’ve fallen in love with my married boss.
I work in a large company for three different bosses and this guy is by far the nicest to me.
He’s 38 and married with two young children. He’s absolutely gorgeous and very flirtatious when we’re all out having drinks after work.
I broke up with my boyfriend earlier this year and my boss was so lovely.
I took a few days off after the break-up and he e-mailed me every day to check I was OK and has been very attentive since I’ve been back at work.
He often seeks me out to chat or joke around and for the last few months I’ve found myself really falling for him.
He’s now asked me out for drinks and I don’t know whether to go or not.
I’ve asked two of my best friends – one thinks that life is too short and I should just go for it, and the other one says I should think of his wife and children and back off.
What do you think?
Listen to your sensible friend. This is an absolute disaster.
Let’s just look at the possible outcomes. If by some chance he falls in love with you too and decides to leave his wife, he’ll probably lose his job for dating somebody he’s in charge of. So he wouldn’t be this all-powerful boss any more, he’d be unemployed and looking for a job.
He’d also have an ex-wife and two children to support, so a lot of yours and his salary would go towards supporting them. You’d also have two step-children to look after every other weekend and a few nights during the week, and you’d have to take them on holidays with you. Aged 26, are you OK with that?
And now let’s look at the other scenario. You go for drinks with him, flirt, kiss and end up in bed together and begin an affair. Sooner or later somebody at work would find out and you’d both be in a lot of trouble.
Or nobody would find out and he’d end it because, let’s face it, flirty bosses who ask out their much younger colleagues tend to have form with this sort of thing and I doubt you’re the first girl he’s tried to cheat with.
So he’d dump you, break your heart and you’d have to carry on working for him week in, week out.
I just can’t see this working out well. So stop feeling flattered and over-romanticising this situation and see it for the potential disaster it is.
Politely say no to drinks and try to forget about him. Find someone single to date.