This relatively new term refers to a slightly more sexually charged variation of asexuality or the condition in which someone feels no desire for sex whatsoever. It refers to a person who does not feel sexual attraction to another person unless they feel a strong emotional connection to them first.
Think of it this way.
Does it take you some time to get to get comfortable with someone first before being intimate? Does a deep emotional connection turn you on? If you answer yes to these questions, then you may identify as a demisexual.
While it sounds like nothing major or out of this world, there’s something deeper going on that is particular to those who are truly part of this sexual orientation.
Here are signs you may identify as one.
- You are not into physical touch
If extended hugs or even making it out turns you off, you may be demisexual. You would rather sit down and have a conversation than get frisky. Physical intimacy, even with someone you’ve gotten to know can be uncomfortable and make you feel a bit anxious.
- You enjoy sex but certain conditions must be met first
Unlike asexuals who are repulsed by sex, demisexuals actually enjoy it if their specific conditions are met. In short, they need to feel a strong emotional connection before they hit the sheets. Rather than feeling aroused when naked, they feel uncomfortable and exposed when forced to get physical with someone they don’t have an emotional bond with.
- Don’t check people out
Judging people solely from their physical appearance on whether they are hot or not does not come naturally to them. For instance, when asked to rate how hot someone is, they are clueless because it is a completely alien concept to them.
- Emotional bonds are extremely important
Your satisfaction comes from emotional intimacy with another person and sharing personal experiences. What gets them going is trust, communication, openness and emotional connection.
- Sexually self-sufficient
Because sex isn’t the most important thing in their world, it does not mean they don’t enjoy it. Most of their moments of sexual gratification come from masturbation and when it comes to physical pleasure, they don’t see the need of another person.
- Don’t see the need to flirt
Meaningless conversations with strangers, cracking jokes or going on goofy tangents about nothing doesn’t apply to them. They simply don’t speak that language and even when someone is trying to flirt with them, they never get it.