Weight is nothing but a number, don’t let him bother you to slim : Evewoman - The Standard

Lady Speak

Don’t let him bother you with slimming, weight is nothing but a number


Ladies, slimming down is always a good idea if you are a bit on the heavy side. However, I have always maintained that if your boyfriend is the one demanding that you lose weight, he is the weight you need to lose, period!

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You will rarely hear a woman go on at a man about his beer belly, which is just as unhealthy and disgusting to look at as ‘love handles’ on a woman. But when a woman puts on just a little bit of weight and bulges begin to appear, men want to make a song and a dance about it!

A friend of mine came to me crying the other day because her boyfriend of three years told her that he wasn’t attracted to her anymore because of her weight and that she needed to shed off a few kilos if their relationship was going to work out.

Here is the absurd part; she has been a big woman all her life. She was just about the same weight when he met her. All of a sudden he is bothered by it? My friend took my advice and dropped 74 kilograms overnight; all of him, and I have never seen her happier.

It is devastating when a spouse or boyfriend tells a woman that he would be more attracted to her if she lost weight. That is a lot of pressure to live with. Also, making derogatory remarks about a woman’s body, even when it is framed as humour, is hurtful and more often than not proves to be counterproductive in encouraging her to lose weight.

Look, guys, I get it. You are allowed to like what you want. You can’t help what you are or are not attracted to. If plus-sized women don’t turn you on that’s totally fine. Simply don’t date them. Starting a relationship with one then demanding that she lose the weight is ridiculous.

Telling your wife or girlfriend that she has to go on a diet and start exercising simply because you are not attracted to her anymore is thoughtless, inconsiderate and incredibly selfish. If you are not attracted to her anymore, that’s your problem.

As long as she is happy with herself, she doesn’t need to do a damn thing. Ladies, if a man you are seeing ever says demeaning stuff to you or puts you down because of your weight, tell him to make himself scarce! You deserve to be loved regardless of your BMI. Good men are a dime a dozen. Find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

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Telling a woman that she has to lose weight because you don’t like the way she looks is exactly the same as telling a woman to get plastic surgery to change a part of herself that she has no problem with for your satisfaction.

Would you tell a woman to get breast implants because bigger boobs turn you on? Probably not unless you are a special kind of buffoon. Your wife is the only one who needs to be happy with the way she looks. If she ever comes to the decision to slim down, it should be because she wants to, not because you are pressuring her.

Ladies, if you want to shed off a few pounds to make yourself feel more attractive or be healthier, go for it! But don’t do it to please a superficial jerk. Even if you shed off the extra weight, he will find something else about you that he is not happy about. Like I said, the only person you need to please is yourself.

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