What’s so weird about men hugging each other and holding hands anyway?

Dear Kenyan men, there is absolutely nothing wrong with men hugging other men! A man cannot hug, hold hands or even sling his arm around another man without raising eyebrows. If a man even accidentally touches another man, he will be promptly chided and told to cut out that gay shit! God forbid if you purposely try embracing another man! It is so bad that even two men sitting too close to each other is perceived as odd. But why is a man being emotionally open and physically tactile with his male friends seen as less masculine? Why is male-to-male affection frowned upon?

Personally, I think the fear of being thought gay is ridiculous and grossly homophobic. We live in a society that has such a level of homophobia that a man’s masculinity is questioned when he engages in gentle platonic contact with another man. Sometime back, I witnessed a man getting violent with another man because he had accidentally touched him in a way that he thought was gay! That kind of reaction was beyond contempt and totally uncalled for. It is not as if his hand has lingered and he was looking longingly into his eyes. It was an honest mistake. But that did not stop the other guy from physically attacking him. The other men who had witnessed the incident also jumped in with verbal backlash, calling the man gay. It just goes to show that men will do anything to avoid the stigma of homo

It is a sad state of affairs that Kenyan men frame all physical contact with fellow men as being intentionally sexual until proven otherwise. The only time that is deemed okay for men to hug each other is when their football team wins. Other than that, they are supposed to keep their hands to themselves otherwise they face the risk of homophobic backlash. Why would a man have a problem with other men hugging unless he has an issue with his own sexuality? The men that deem it inappropriate for men to show love to other men have a distorted view of what masculinity is supposed to be. Men have become less and less affectionate with each other with the increased awareness of homosexuality. Heterosexual men are reluctant to show affection to fellow heterosexual men because they are afraid they will be thought as homosexual. I think it is ridiculous to be worried that you will appear gay just because you have hugged another man. Some men are huggers and just affectionate in nature and they shouldn’t feel the need to hold themselves back. People should stop thinking that something as simple as a hug is too sexual and should not be shared among heterosexual men. It is really not a big deal. This stigma of a man hugging another man being unmanly needs to stop!