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Counselling husbands from time to time really helps.

My Man

You wanted to ignore the meeting with the counselor. It was scheduled on a Monday, and you usually suffer Mondayitis. You hated the creepy counselor. But Carol paid for the counselor and she would appreciate it if you went for the counseling.

So, you order a huge chunk of the humble pie and present yourself to the counselor. He has not yet arrived and you sit there reading the few magazines on the table at the waiting lounge. There is a man, around 50 going on 90 because of too much tipple, who clearly needs rehabilitation. There is a woman there, in her 40s, sullen like hell, probably here to report her husband, or to seek counseling on how to stop her husband from giving college girls money.

The cleaner is going about her business cleaning the window and occasionally stealing glances at you, comforting herself that she may be living in a slum, but at least her family is tight and she doesn't have the rich problems like the ones she witnesses every day.

A few minutes after 10, the man walks in. In a floral shirt and khaki pants, and you notice that his hair had started receding when he was young and it stopped mid-way.

You are called and you go to a different boardroom and you sit the two of you. A firm handshake and he asks, "how have things been since you left?"

"Not bad. She is still quiet and moody," you reply.

"That is expected. Now, let's talk like men...," he begins.

We are not peers, we can't talk like men you creep for crying out loud! You tell yourself.

You wonder how one decides to be a counselor - of all the jobs in the world. I mean, mining gold in the bowels of the earth is sexier than this job.

"Why do you drink so hard?" he asks. Who does he think he is? My father? He is working you up.

"I don't drink that much. You know the way men go to the bar, you start drinking and time just flies away...Also, there is nothing else to do at home."

"How many of your friends are married?" he asks.

"Why?" you ask back defensively.

"Look, I know you don't like this and you probably loathe your wife for bringing you here, but at some point, you have to face up to what you are running from home. We all drink for different reasons. People who overstay in bars do so because there is something they are running away from. What are you running away from? Your wife?"

"Nothing I can think off. I think Carol was being dramatic and all," you tell him. "Look, you are old enough to know that this will not end well. You have been married for nearly two years and if you screw this up and she leaves you, you will have wasted two years of your life. Carol loves you and wants you to start living like a husband. There are compromises we must make once we are married. The payoff is an upright family, and peace in old age. You are not getting any younger..."

That makes sense.

He goes on with his monologue, and he is painfully real. At the end, he wants you to change company and deal with married friends, always have dinner at home with family at least four times or more during the week. And to stop being tough headed and sometimes listen to Carol. If only he knew that Carol is the worst listener.

But food for thought.

@nyanchwani

[email protected]

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