Choose wisely: The most beautiful lady in the pack is mostly lousy in bed and a joke in the kitchen : Evewoman - The Standard
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Choose wisely: The most beautiful lady in the pack is mostly lousy in bed and a joke in the kitchen

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At some point as a man when you cross to other side of 20s, there comes a need to start a relationship that can potentially lead to marriage. Unless you are a sworn-in bachelor with an infinitely distant marriage ambition, like me, you will be forced to get at least one woman who is at your beck and call.

Constant bed partner

Part of the reason you need a relationship is to avoid the bureaucratic procedure of getting a woman to bed. The older you get, the more responsible you have to be, lest you end up on Deadbeat Kenya Facebook page or with a clingy woman you don’t want. After 25, any man with disposable income is a potential husband for some woman, even if he is an inveterate drunkard and as responsible as a wild dog.

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Hence, a typical man will need that one woman who can sate his pelvic thirst without the ritual of taking her on a date, where she hardly finishes her meal before hitting the bar, where she will order the most expensive cocktail. These things suck. But with an available woman, you always skip this sort of drama.

But available women are hardly the right ones for a permanent relationship. They always lack something key that a man so much values. May be it is their lack of ambition. May be she does not meet the aesthetic demands of the man. May be she snores in bed. May be she is not dutifully hygienic as the man would wish. There is always something off.

That calls for the man to cast wide his net for a few more women who he rigorously interrogates in his mind to see who is the most suitable, to walk down the aisle or simply elope with. And here is where God or nature (depending on what you subscribe to) plays a sick joke.

ALSO READ: Why Kenyan women hate and can’t date short men

Practically, the most beautiful in the pack is mostly lousy in bed and a joke in the kitchen. But she is good, anywhere you show up with her, heads turn. And that caresses your ego, it adds more years to your life. Still, she has an expensive taste that the tag gold-digger is a constant refrain when your friends gossip about her.

The average-looking woman is good in bed but has a penchant for Mary J Blige type of weaves and other annoying fashion ideas. Mostly, she is from another community, thus she will not cook for you the proper meal that your ancestors approved. And finally, is the other one with the right physical qualities but is either academically overqualified or under-qualified. If overqualified, possibly she is not given to the idea of a submissive woman in a relationship.

Typically, she will be dangerously too ambitious. I subscribe to the Sicilian advice that men should avoid overambitious women at all costs. If under-qualified, you can take her in. But she can be a burden if the intellectual gap is too wide.

Good thing, few men marry women for their brains. Men want just anyone who can raise their children well and, at least, intelligent enough so that children can understand calculus in high school.

Such is life. Rarely can you have it all. Here is how you should choose. Drop the beautiful gold-digger. She will ruin you. For the brainy type, if you have the balls, take her by all means. But if you are weak and cannot stand female contempt (which 93 per cent of men can’t do), skip on that as well.

That leaves us with Ms Average. Take her.

Average women make the best wives, if best appreciated. They try their best to be the best woman in your life. So if you love her, provide for her and protect her, she will make the best husband out of you. This is the beaten path. The reason even alpha males always go for the most average woman. At least for the first wife.

ALSO READ: Opinion: Why older women are not dateable

@nyanchwani
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