Let no one count your children for you.

As mothers, the society has left the burden of family planning purely on us. Having more or less children or even no children at all is first blamed on mothers before anything else. Because of this, women have resorted to even desperate measures in order to please the society which in most cases has never been satisfied. Not only have we seen mothers visiting dark cones to terminate pregnancies but we have also seen them gulping bitter concoctions to enable them conceive; all this because they want to be at par with their peers regarding motherhood. So next time you walk into a woman’s office and find her sipping an unknown liquid from her classy bottle, just mind your own business and stop asking questions,  unless your business involves around the conception.

In the quest to quench the society’s thirst women are now in a competition with their fellow women. I have seen circles of close friendships breaking in the name of motherhood. Women have become their own enemies in the name of parenting. While motherhood should be a blessing, others have turned it into a way to measure success, especially during this era when men have become allergic to commitment. Women are now competing on who will conceive first and with whom. Some have even gone ahead to seek medical help in order to have multiple babies in one birth just so that they beat those who had seemingly ‘begun the race’ before them. No wonder the rise of single motherhood which has since stopped to bother the women.

Like the holy book says, children are a gift from God; to have or not to have them is beyond us as human. So for someone to hold it against the other for not being able to conceive or conceive in time is against the holy book. Some have even gone ahead to give preference to a sex they want in their children. I have seen some mother’s marriages on the rocks because they were not able to bring forth children of a sex preferred by either the husbands or in laws. Just the same way I have seen some mothers rushing to terminate pregnancies because of what the world would say about them. Why put your life at risk for people who will always talk? Whether you make it alive out of that corner or not after the termination is actually none of their business, their business is to talk, and talking they will do.

When planning your family, the best person to consult is your spouse, not your peers. In case you do not have a spouse, call yourself for a meeting, be in attendance, discuss your agenda and take action as you wish as long as your actions do not infringe on other people’s rights. Do not feel like you are either too slow or too fast for your peers. Everyone’s script on life is different; you actually will never be at par with anyone but you.

Mothers and mother to be, motherhood is one beautiful experience that you should enjoy at your pace and in the best way you can. Let no one count your children for you.