Really, after how many dates should a lady give in to a man? - Evewoman

My Man

Really, after how many dates should a lady give in to a man?

The psychology that governs the sexual relationship between men and women is complicated

House parties have become a common fixture in Nairobi and other towns. Partying in clubs has become too clichéd and dangerous both from terrorists attacks and the ever inconveniencing alco-blow. Given we like our tipple as a country, we are constantly contriving ways of enjoying our liquor without having to look over our shoulders.

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Three things I have observed in house parties are: One, the toilet will always be dirty, definitely from the too many people than a house loo can handle. Two, there will be individuals making out on the balcony, in the car park or in one of the bedrooms. And three, someone always throws up (mostly the most talkative, beautiful or a person you respect so much).

Now let us turn our attention to individuals making out in various stages of undress in the dimly lit parts of the house. Trust me, I have done my background research and can tell, half the time, they are strangers who just met at the party and hit it off well. In many instances, some even sleep together, regardless of the consequences.

I can’t tell when exactly we bent rules as to okay sex on the first day of meeting, but last time I checked, men are still adamant that they cannot keep a woman they sleep with on the first date. These rules don’t change. Yet it happens morning, noon and night. I know this reeks of patriarchal nonsense and dictating female sexuality that has always been riddled with double standards, but that is the fact.

 A woman who sleeps with a man on the first date and she is not a call girl, will always be regarded as loose by men. Yet a man who seduces the said woman to give in on the first date is not necessarily considered as a man whore.

The psychology that governs the sexual relationship between men and women is complicated. Men believe if they sleep with a woman on the first day, the same woman sleeps with every other man who asks her out on the first day.

There is some sheen of credence to the assumption. And any man, even if he has slept with more than 30 women would like to take to bed a woman who has slept with the least number of men. Thankfully, there is no way of telling these things. If there was a biologically feasible way, men would spend a fortune to know.

First time sex in a relationship is often a catalyst to a better, long-lasting relationship if well timed. Men always appreciate going through the motions even if for fan. Men have a way of telling their chances with a woman by the time they make the first move.

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The first date can tell them the possibility and they are accurate up 80 per cent of the time. A woman should withhold the sexual favour until the right time when a man has fulfilled certain expectations. I really don’t understand why women have made it so easy for men, that with enough liquor or spending on her on the first day, they must sleep with the man.

Whether it is guilt, peer pressure, desperation or whatever that drives them to behave this way, self-respecting women should desist from this habit. If he truly wants you, he is always willing to wait and play ball.



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