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Sponsors who fund girls' holidays but never feature in photos

My Man By Tony Masikonde
Photo: Courtesy

A while back, a pal of mine showed me a photo of a very beautiful woman, taken on the beach. It was his ex. As we admired the photo, it, err, well, it got me thinking.

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A troll on many women’s social networking sites reveals lots of photos. These photos will have exotic captions...taken in Zanzibar, on the pristine South Coast beach, at JKIA travelling to Seychelles, etc.

This is all good, after all, all work and no play can make Jack a dull boy, you know. But one question remains, who takes these photos?

You will never hear these girls say “I’m holidaying with my pals or chama mates”. It is just loads of very appealing photos and appealing here is on several levels.

So we got to discussing. Do these girls take these holidays alone? Can one actually holiday alone unless you are a sex pest?

After our deliberations, we came up with several explanations.

Possibly, since the girls are usually beautiful enough to front what they got, it is possible that they are able to convince passers-by and other holiday makers to take these pictures for them.

This preposition had one problem. How do you visit a five star resort and spend the rest of your time disturbing other lovers and octogenarian holiday-makers to take your photos, which come in their hundreds? After much deliberation we all agreed that it would take an imbecile to disrupt other people’s holidaying for her selfish, ego needs.

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OLD PENSIONER

Up next we explored the possibility of having a very kind tour guide who would be agreeable to taking these loads of photos. After all, the guide may have reasoned the more kind he is to the client the bigger the tip.

However, this approach was thwarted by one major reason. Some of these photos that you will see on many a girl’s Facebook account are taken in places that you would not expect the tour guide to be. Not unless the tour guide is coming with extra value additions.

How do you explain photos taken by the beach at midnight with nothing on but lingerie that is being blown by the oceanic winds? Or those photos taken in a hotel room or even bathroom? We also considered the possibility of the girls getting great assistance from beach boys to do the photography.

But just like the tour guides, this approach had its failures. Who would allow a beach boy to accompany her to an exotic dinner? In fact business sense when dealing with a beach boy dictates that the money flows from the affluent client to the beach boy.

Some of these girls, who are barely out of university, could not have afforded the holiday leave alone the services of a beach boy, and here we are talking two hours of photography - nothing more.

So what was the resolution? It was pretty simple and straightforward in the end. We agreed that the reason why you will only see girls posing on the beach on these holidays, like well fed hippos, is because the financiers of the holidays are the ones taking the photos.

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But since the financier is an old pensioner with wrinkles all over the body, it definitely does not make him easy on the eye.

So the next time you see photos of an expensive holiday posted by a girl in an exotic resort, unless she has proof that she booked her favourite professional photographer on the same trip, then it is possible that the trip has been bankrolled by a rich, randy octogenarian.

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