I was having a slow Wednesday a while back and since I was not on duty, decided to visit my friend Alice who owns a barbershop just within Komayole and have a cut. All was well until she walked out of the salon for a few minutes to go and look for something to eat.
Five minutes after she walked out, two men walked in. With a wide smile on my face and my customer service experience, I ushered them in and offered them seats thinking they had come for a shave.
They did not even look bothered by my offer, instead, they started looking around then one of them told me as he pointed at a van outside, "Enda kwa ile gari kuna wenzako." I quickly answered "sawa" and rushed out to the van. I thought I was going to usher in more clients from the van.
As I carried my lazy behind to the van, I could not help but imagine how happy Alice would be once she came back and found a handful of clients waiting for her services. Just when I was reaching the van, I saw Alice standing on the opposite side of the road giving me a very scary look and gesturing me to run.
I did not even think twice, I thought I was being kidnapped in broad daylight and took off. Because of confusion, I ran straight back into the barbershop past the two gentlemen who were now looking at themselves in one of the mirrors in the shop and through a backdoor which led straight into a pit latrine, I then locked myself inside the pit latrine and started reciting the Rosary.
The two men followed me to the latrine and started knocking on the door asking me to walk out and head to the van. They sounded so confident and I wondered why everyone around was just sitting there as I was being kidnapped in broad daylight. I started shouting from inside warning them that if they did not leave, I would start screaming.
They were not bothered. In fact, they shouted back telling me my screams would not lead me anywhere other than police cells. Their answer caught me off guard, why would I be kidnapped and taken to a police cell?
Before I could even get an answer to my own question, one of them shouted that they were going to break the door if I failed to comply.
Before I knew it, they were kicking the door. If you live in Komayole, I bet you know how weak latrine doors are, just one kick was enough not only to bring down the door but the whole latrine.
Their kicks must have awakened bats that I suspect were sleeping inside the pit. All of a sudden bats started flying from the pit and around the latrine probably looking for an exit. I remembered how I was once told that bats can make very good 'Slappers' if annoyed and their slaps were poisonous.
I thought about my baby, what if these bats slapped me to death? Just then one landed on my arm and it automatically led me to swing open the door and dash past the two men who grabbed me immediately and asked "Madam wapi license?"
License? Was I supposed to produce a license for being kidnapped or what? I just looked at them and said, "Niwacheni niko na mtoto mdogo." That did not hinder them from leading me straight to their van where people had gathered and watching from a distance.
Alice then walked to us and told them she owned the barbershop and I was only a client. That's when it dawned on me that I was dealing with city council askaris.
She was bundled into the van and I was asked to run and not look back - which I did at top speed. I even increased my speed when I realised a bat was still clinging onto my blouse. I am never visiting the barbershop again!