My son Troy turns two in September this year and I am looking forward to that milestone. But there is a small problem. My husband is already asking for child number three.
Just imagine! Although I have not told him my strong reservations, I am appalled that he can make such an outrageous suggestion, yet I have not fully recovered from the horrors of labour!
These men... do they really know how much sacrifice career women have to make to carry a pregnancy? Anyway, carrying a pregnancy is such a big deal for career women, before they let down the guard, here are factors they consider:
1. The state of the relationship or the marriage:
Women are smart creatures and they see far. Just by looking at the state of affairs in their marriage, they know whether it has a future or not.
A woman knows very well that if her husband mistreats her or is cheating on her, one day she will gather courage and walk out of that relationship. So do not expect her to keep popping babies for you yet she knows fully well the relationship has no future.
2. House girl:
It may sound like a small thing but to an extent, a house girl determines whether I am getting pregnant or not. For instance, last week I wrote how my girl Mwende had given me a notice to look for another house girl because she is leaving to go get married.
Mwende was such a nice girl and she had given me peace of mind even to concentrate on thinks like getting paged, but now that she wants to leave, I am so anxious, wondering whether I will get a nice girl like her. The last thing on my mind is another pregnancy.
Pregnancy and a bad job do not go together. That is a recipe for a miscarriage. If I have this a job that has crazy hours, demands and pays badly and has no medical cover, the last thing I would want to carry is a pregnancy while working in that organisation.
4. Financial stability:
I find it reckless on my part as a career woman if I keep getting pregnant yet I am not financially stable. What is the point of adding another mouth to feed yet I am still struggling with fees and paying rent? I would rather wait and stabilise before I hit the maternity ward again.
5. My body:
Every woman knows her body and the state it is in. I know how strong or weak my body is. If for instance I gave birth through Cesarean Section and I am still feeling aches and pains from that birth, there is no way I would want to be caught in such a situation again.
Finally, as it is normally said, man plans but God executes, as career woman we may want to plan everything to the minute, but ultimately it is God who has the final say.
The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.