I have this friend dying to get married but there is no man to make that dream come true.
Let’s call her Janet. Janet is so obsessed with being married, she eats and sleeps marriage.
“Aki Mama Tasha you are so lucky you are married. People like us have passed our sell by date, I wonder if we will ever get hitched,” Janet who is in her early 30s like me, always tells me whenever we meet.
Janet lives her life hoping every day to meet Mr Right and walk her down the aisle. But the sad bit is she only meets losers and jokers.
Because her obsession is somewhat toxic, as her friend, I always remind her that single hood is just a season and it will pass. It is a time to get to know oneself, to explore the world and eat life with a big spoon.
I always remind Janet that being alone is a beautiful stage and instead of lamenting, she should enjoy it. This is not a time to wallow in loneliness and misery but a time to have fun and explore before Mr Hubby comes along.
Just like marriage, it has myriad benefits which I will share today to encourage all single sisters wallowing in self-pity. Here’s why you need to count your blessings:
Unlimited freedom: If there is one thing I miss about my days as a single lady is the unlimited freedom. It is only single girls who have the liberty to have sleepovers and holidays whenever and wherever they want without anybody questioning. It is just the other day I was complaining how my husband had frozen my plans for a holiday alone. If I was single, I would just pack my bags and hit the road.
No compromise and sacrifices: With marriage comes a lot of compromises and sacrifices before any major decision is made. You may want to live in Kileleshwa but if hubby insists he can only afford Buru rent, you have to swallow the bitter pill. But when you are solo, you can decide whether to live in a condo in Westy or an SQ in Kile without anybody questioning you.
Time to focus on friendships: Most of the solid friendships I have maintained in my married life, I built them while I was still single. Now that I am married, I rarely get time to make new friends. But when I was single, I had all the time in the world to explore and visit new places where I could meet new friends. Now that I am a caged bird, my life revolves around my immediate family and church community.
Spontaneity: Just imagine you wake up and feel like eating cheese pizza and you do it without apologies. Or you wake up and feel like going to Arusha for holiday, there is nobody to stop you. That is the spontaneity only single hood offers. So ladies enjoy while it lasts.
The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a preschooler daughter. She shares her day-today-life experience of juggling between career, family and social life