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Dear Coleen
I am a 24-year-old lad and I’m having a problem gaining an erection during sex.
This is due to two factors. Firstly, I feel worthless due to having relatively tiny manhood and, secondly, I tend to suffer from premature ejaculation.
I really want a relationship and I know I would make a good partner, but I fear this will affect my chances.
Coleen says
The whole problem here is that you are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem.
You’re doing what we all do – comparing yourself to other people, and worrying about measuring up.
It may be a cliche, but it’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it. And there are many ways to satisfy a woman other than penetrative sex.
You have to work on your self-esteem by focusing on all the positive stuff you have to give. Once you change your mindset, things will fall into place. And if you meet a girl and she dumps you because of the sex, then she’s not the right one for you anyway. Your confidence will grow naturally when you do meet the right woman.
As for premature ejaculation, there are certain techniques you can use to prolong lovemaking.
In most cases, it’s down to psychological factors, such as anxiety rather than a physical problem. Make sex more about foreplay, not penetration, and take your time.
Something that might help is stopping before you climax and keep trying this technique during foreplay with a partner or when you’re on your own. The idea is that it helps you learn control
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